I've lived my life really embracing the last part of Acts 20:35. "....It is more blessed to give than to receive." I have focused so much on the blessing of giving that I interpreted this verse incorrectly. For me, receiving is a weakness, and giving is the only blessing. It would seem that there is an inherent blessing in receiving, but I always feel like a lesser person when I am forced to take something that I was unable to provide for myself. Even when I win a prize, I feel guilty that I received something that someone else didn't receive. I am the oldest child in my family, and I was raised to help my mother and dad in whatever they were doing as well as help my little brothers. I've carried this on into my adult life. In my marriage, I don't always wait for my husband to fix things. I go buy the part and try to fix it myself. I've fixed my dryer, fixed a lawn mower, installed thermocouples in water heaters and gas heaters, and installed faucets and fixed commodes. I don't like to admit that maybe I am incapable of taking care of myself. I want to be considered a strong person who can do it all.
While reading Brené Brown's book Rising Strong, I came face to face with the fact that I do not like to receive. I would rather be the helper and the giver. My identity is found in helping. I am currently working to obtain my Master of Social Work, a degree connected with a helping profession. The first sentence of the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers says, "The primary mission of the social work profession is to enhance human well-being and help meet the basic human needs of all people." Helping is my middle name. I don't like to tell someone, "No," because it diminishes myself as a person. I am here to help and in my mind if I cannot help, then I am weak, unnecessary, and unimportant.
I've been privileged to get to know a lovely lady online named Debbie Leitch. She has such a big heart, and she loves to encourage and give to others. She has sent me cards, pictures, messages, and a beautiful glass basket. She is a truly compassionate giver. I'm not the only one she gives to either. She told me one day about someone she knew that needed a friend so she took them to a museum and a park, and this is something she does on a regular basis with multiple people. As I've learned of all the things that Debbie does, I am so amazed and humbled, because you see, Debbie has Spina bifida and she is in a wheel chair. She has a special van fitted to her so she can drive, and she uses that to give help and encouragement to other people in need. Debbie requires lots of assistance from other people, but she accepts that help with graciousness and then is able to turn around and give back with that same grace. I've told Debbie how much I admire her and her spirit, but I hope I can learn to give and receive like she does.
Brené Brown determined that when we judge ourselves as weak because we have to ask for help, we also judge those we are helping as weak. If you read the first part of Acts 20:35, you will notice that we are supposed to help the weak. Our society has somehow made the word weak into a dirty word. We judge weakness as a sin and something that should and can be overcome. As I thought about all of this, and I remembered the verse in Acts which has been my guiding light, I wondered, "Is the Bible wrong?" Am I wrong to prefer giving to receiving? So I went and read it again--not just from memory. As I stood in the front of the mirror ruminating, I saw the light bulb go off in my head. I blurted out, "It says, 'More blessed to give.'" So I rewrote the verse to say, "It is blessed to receive, but is more blessed to give." I have been selfishly trying to always get the extra blessing. If we are all givers, then who would receive? For every giver, there must be a receiver. In order to be blessed by giving, we must learn to also be blessed by receiving. We can't truly be compassionate givers if we don't know how to be weak and need help and need to receive. Weakness in life is going to happen and it doesn't make us less important, less loved, or less beautiful! We should all be givers and receivers. In fact when you receive from someone, you are allowing them to get that extra blessing. Don't cheat them, learn to receive as graciously as you give.
