Just A Thought

Newest Creation

2012-01-21T20:57:00.001-06:00

Clay Beads

2011-12-30T23:06:00.000-06:00

My husband got me some polymer clay for Christmas and I have been experimenting. For these beads, I took three colors--black, pink, and purple. I used about 1/4 of each block and rolled each color out flat about 1 1/2 inches wide and as long as I could make it (probably about 6 inches long). I then placed them one on top of each other and rolled them as best I could into a sort of log. Then I rolled it back and for until I smoothed it out. I also folded it a couple of times and rolled again into a smooth log. It made some lovely swirls in the middle of my log. I made beads by cutting about 1/2 inch piece and rolling it until it was smooth. For the biggest bead in the middle, I took several small slices and laid them around the outside so that I could keep that swirly look. I then used a piece of wire and poked a hole through each bead. I baked them at 275 degrees for 20 minutes. Voila! I think it is beautiful and it was fun to make. I have just enough beads left to make a braclet and earrings.

Jewelry Organizer

2011-12-28T11:34:00.000-06:00

My friend made this for me for Christmas. She took a piece of wood, sanded and stained it, added some decor and placed nails spaced out at the top and sides. She stretched some thin string (seems like the stuff you make bracelets with) across the bottom to hold earrings.

Vegan Pecan PIe

2011-11-11T18:16:00.001-06:00

It has been years since I have had a piece of pecan pie. When I found out I was allergic to eggs and dairy, it was bye-bye pecan pie along with many other things. Today I made a vegan pecan pie and it was, I have to say, so much like the real thing, that even my daughter loves it. I found the recipe at this website. http://www.myvegancookbook.com/recipes/recipe.php?id=92 I used a Pillsbury crust instead of making one from scratch. I think I will experiment with some other type of crust next time.

Pumpkin Muffins

2011-11-06T16:49:00.004-06:00

2 cups of sugar
2 ½ cups of flour
1 cup of oil
1/4 cup of water
1 (16 oz) can of pumpkin
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 tsp. baking pwd.
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of nuts preferably pecan or walnut or both
tad bit of milk to make batter smooth and not dry or lumpy.

You may also add 1 cup of chocolate chips and reduce sugar by a 1/2 cup.
I just mix it all up–no order and it’s easier with mixer, but not necessary.
Makes 2 dozen muffins. Bake at 350 degrees until done.
Sorry I don’t use a timer–but probably about 25-30 mins.

God Came To Clean Up Your Mess!

2011-10-31T09:25:00.002-05:00

How many times have I told my family, “You can use the kitchen, so long as you clean up your mess.” As parents, we start teaching our children as toddlers that we clean up our own messes. We pick up our toys, blocks, and help clean up our spilled milk. As we grow older, and see people making dumb choices we sometimes say “You made your bed, now you can lie in it” or “You got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out.” Our human nature guides us to be responsible for ourselves, and clean up our own messes. This is the thinking that causes people to think they have to clean up and straighten up their lives before they come to church or before they come to God. We don’t feel worthy to ask God to help us out of a mess we made ourselves. To those who are already saved, and manage to mess up and make bad choices (as we always do), we think that God is going to rain down judgment and certainly won’t help us out of a bad situation we put ourselves in.

Fortunately, God is not human. Romans 11:33 says “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” The most awesome thing is that God came to clean up our mess. He knew we couldn’t do it, that we had made too big of a mess of our lives. Romans 5:8 says that “God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” He didn’t say, if you will change and clean up your life, I will die for you and save you. The only thing you have to do is believe that you need Him and that He is God and came to save you. Is your life in a mess right now? Do you feel like it’s more than you can handle, but you don’t feel that you have the right to ask God for help. Please remember God’s great love for you, and know that He wants to help clean up your mess!

Pop Quiz

2011-10-30T21:45:00.000-05:00

This morning our pastor preached on how we should treat others. His premise was that God loves everyone and He died for everyone. He loves and died for the stinky bum on the street corner; the cruel bully; the snooty, rich man; the neighbor that you wished would move; and that person that “looks like he fell in a tackle box.” Tonight after church, God gave us a pop quiz covering that sermon. There was an old truck with some guys who had run out of gas right in front of the church and people could have easily judged them and been afraid to help, but we made sure they had gas and were on their way.

It’s so easy to judge those who aren’t just like us. Who says we are normal, and the good Lord knows we aren’t perfect. If we are Christians, we have a higher calling and higher expectations placed on us. We are expected to help those people God places in our path. It’s usually pretty clear, when you know God is asking you to help someone.

People are always in a quandary about when to help a stranger. I heard Beth Moore give these guidelines, and I think they are very wise. Don’t help when (a) You simply can’t give or do what’s needed or asked for. (b) your help just won’t help; (c) beyond the boundary is unauthorized danger. Knowing what is dangerous can be tricky, but if you are alone, it probably isn’t a good idea especially if you are a woman. Ultimately, God gives us common sense and He also wants us to listen to His guidance. If you are listening, you will hear Him talking.

God Loves You Anyway

2011-10-26T23:21:00.002-05:00

I attended my 20th class reunion last week, and I guess I am waxing nostalgic. I’ve been thinking about the me of twenty years ago compared to me today. Spiritually, I have grown so much, but still realize I have so much more to grow. Twenty years ago, I thought as long as the pastor and my church members didn’t know the real me or what I did, then I was safe. Today, I realize it’s only God that matters. I have heard some people say, "I am so glad they don’t know what I’m thinking." The problem is that God does, but the awesome thing is that He loves us anyway! I don’t like being reprimanded by God, but I have never felt like God didn’t love me. For many years I thought it was more about looks than about substance. In the deep corners of my heart, I realized that God wanted more of me and wanted me to be real with Him. So today, I want to ask you "Are you being real with God?" He knows you better than you know yourself, so you might as well ‘fess up and just accept that you are a dirty, rotten scoundrel. But more importantly, you need to realize that God loves you despite your imperfections. He knows you are a dirty, rotten scoundrel, but He still died to save your soul and He wants you!

Looking forward to 2010

2009-12-30T19:46:00.002-06:00

For the past year, I failed to post much. I guess I’ve thought that if I didn’t have an earth shattering revelation to share then I wouldn’t share anything at all. At the end of every year, I always reflect back on the months previous, and give my year a grade. This year, although it has been arduous, it has been blessed and well-spent. I’ve worked hard both at home and work, and had tragedies to deal with as well.

We did vote in a pastor this year. He and his family were already members of our church--the Hamilton family. Then finally sometime around the first of July, we moved into our house. I had thought it would never happen. We did move in a half-finished house–but it has been wonderful. In amongst the work of readying our home and moving, the boys grandmother and grandfather died within seventeen days of each other. We had to make 2 trips to Texas to bury them.

I’ve decided that maybe this blog should be a journal of my life. I hate writing longhand and much prefer to type. I’ve been studying Louisa May Alcott the past couple of days (Little Women has always been my favorite), and her entire family kept journals. My husband keeps a journal, and not only does it help others to look into your life later on, it helps you remember those things that get fuzzy to yourself. So for now I must say that 2009 has served its purpose and I can’t wait to see what will happen in 2010.

When, Where, and Why of 2009

2009-01-05T21:05:00.004-06:00

I am a planner. I like to know what's going to happen in my life tomorrow and have a clear plan for the coming week. I hate having things up in the air and no clear direction. As I enter a new year, I wonder what will happen. We have recently lost our pastor at church and so there are changes there. I am still taking allergy shots and working on developing my new "allergen" free diet. We are working on our house and I so hope to move in this year. I sit here and wonder what is going to happen this year. I wish I knew what was ahead so I could make clear plans. I wish I had a map in front of me that told me exactly what to do next.

I thought about Noah, and how God told him he was going to destroy the earth and that in order for him to be saved he had to build an Ark. He didn't tell him when he would destroy all living creatures on earth or when he needed to be finished--he just said it would happen. I wonder if Noah got to thinking that he might not get the ark built before God decided to destroy the earth, or maybe he had faith that God was waiting until he completed the task. I also thought about Abraham and how God told him to leave his country, his people and his family, and go to a land that God would show him(Genesis 12:1). He did not tell him where he was going--only to go. God also told Abraham to take Isaac to a mountain and sacrifice him. His son, his only son that he loved, and I know that Abraham must have wondered what on earth God was thinking. Why would you want me to sacrifice my heir, my promised son, the son you gave me and said would make me a great nation? Despite all these questions, Noah and Abraham did what God commanded.

As I stand at the beginning of 2009, I am listening for what God is saying to me. I know I should go where ever he leads, do whatever he wants. It doesn't matter if it makes sense, if he's told me where to go, or if he's given sufficient reasons why. I must listen for his directions and obey. One thing God is trying to teach me is to depend on others. I need to quit trying to be so self sufficient and do everything on my own. I need to ask others for help and learn that I cannot be everything to all people. I should allow others the opportunity to blessed by serving.

Holiday Pictures

2009-01-01T22:44:00.002-06:00

Glory

2008-11-12T22:29:00.003-06:00

This is my new favorite song. It's wonderful to think that one day we will get to be in Heaven with Jesus. The other day my daughter and I were talking about Heaven and I guess I'm a good salesman, because she was ready to go. It's actually not the first time she's said that. She realizes that this world is not that comfortable, and there is a better place waiting for us.

Dealing with Difficult People

2008-11-10T22:17:00.005-06:00

God has been dealing with me lately about my attitude towards difficult people. I have no problem being patient and nice to reasonable and rational people, but ridiculous people--that's a different story. I feel like I've been overworked lately, and so when people get difficult, it interferes with me getting things done. When I say difficult, I mean complaining, grumbling, nagging, and unhappy. My husband has this saying, "they'd gripe if you hung them with a new rope." I've also realized that for some people, I could give them a million dollars and they would whine and say "how will I spend all that money?" Then I have those people who have to call me frequently to make sure I am getting their work done. I do need a reasonable amount of reminding, but today I had a guy call me 6 times--mainly to see if I had done what he'd asked me to do. Once I was in the process and had to stop so I could talk to him. I wanted to say, "I would have had it done a long time ago if you would quit calling me." This also makes me think of how I deal with other people in the public. Maybe I call and they are just overloaded, and can't get anything done. They aren't mad at me, but the fact that time just seems to slip away as they get more behind. I have another lady, who is gruff and unhappy. She needs people to care about her, but she's a prickly porcupine so nobody really wants to be near her.

So how do I deal with difficult people in my busy world. I pray. All I know to do is pray each day, "God help me show the love of Jesus." Today, I'm not sure I passed the test, but I tried. I didn't say what I wanted to say, but I'm afraid I wasn't very happy either. I'm sure my attitude was shining through. Dealing with difficult people is not something only I deal with, almost anyone who is in a profession that deals with the public knows what I'm talking about it. Most of us don't want to admit it, but we've been one of those difficult people at one time or another. We wanted something done faster than the other person was getting it done, and we just demanded our rights.

The verse I shared in class Sunday was "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3. I must put others ahead of myself, even when I don't want to. Even when it is inconvenient. Even when it would profit me if I didn't. God's rules are not easy, and living them daily in this world is not always fun, but the rewards we reap from following His way is immense. I've been blessed, and I know if I will learn this lesson--being a positive influence on difficult people--he will bless me again. He's just that kind of God.

A lovely day at the Cossatot!

2008-11-08T20:35:00.000-06:00

Diggs Family Reunion

2008-10-04T21:44:00.000-05:00

Jochebed: Mother of Moses

2008-09-21T22:12:00.007-05:00

I've recently began teaching a ladies Sunday School class/Bible Study at church. Our first two lessons were on Jochebed. Jochebed is a very imposing character. She seems to make all the right choices, have a mountain of faith, and be the perfect mother.

Jochebed chose to obey God rather than Man. Pharoah issued the order that all baby boys 2 and under would be killed by being thrown into the Nile River. Jochebed chose to hide Moses until he was three months old and then to place him in a basket in the Nile. She put him in the Nile, but with a little protection. Which leads to a point, God will protect us, but he doesn't want us to be careless and lay in the middle of the highway or ride motorcycles without a helmet, etc. Jochebed risked her entire families life because she knew that God's law was more important than man's law.

Jochebed chose to "stand out" rather than "blend in". It is likely that several generations had passed since Joseph and all his brothers were alive and the Hebrews had grown to mammoth proportions. They had begun to "blend in" to the culture and society of the Egyptians. Not only was Jochebed different from the Egyptians just because of her ethnicity, she was also different than many of her Hebrew family members. She made a choice to be different and serve the one, true and living God instead of the Egyptian gods.

Jochebed chose to have hope rather than wallow in despair. We can see that Jochebed had hope because she was useful and effective. When we have no hope and we give in to despair, we tend to be ineffective for God and our families. If I'm bound up in worry, I am unable to concentrate and do a good job on the things I have to do. We see that Jochebed was so effective at teaching Moses about the true God that despite the many years of teaching he received from the palace, despite the temptation of power and riches, he refused to turn his back on God.

Jochebed had a living faith rather than a dead faith. Jochebed could tell that Moses was "no ordinary" child and that he was anointed by God for something special. The only way she could have known this was by her relationship to God. She also didn't just sit and pray that God would swoop down take care of it. She listened to God. After three months, she got a "God Idea" and decided to build a basket and place it in the Nile. Then she taught Moses everything she could with all the fervor that she could in the time that she had. Her faith was not without wisdom and was full of action.

Many times we look at women in the Bible and think, they are just filled with some special power, but they didn't have the spirit of God living in them like we do today. In the Old Testament, the comforter had not yet been sent. Jochebed lived in a country with political unrest, her family were slaves, she was ridiculed for her strong faith, and she watched as friends mourned the loss of their babies. We in America are so blessed. We have great freedoms, that we don't even exercise. We are free to worship, to teach our children whatever we want, to vote for our leaders. I sometimes wonder if a little persecution might not give us more passion. I pray that God will convict you to choose the higher calling, because we always have a choice.

Older and Wiser

2008-09-18T21:50:00.006-05:00

Today is my birthday--I'm thirty-five years old. It doesn't seem like I'm thirty-five. I really still feel like a teenager with a lot more wisdom. According to the Oxford University Press dictionary, being wise is having or showing experience, knowledge, or good judgment. I hope that I show more knowledge, experience and good judgment than I did when I was sixteen. I know that I've learned a lot about compromise, I've learned that I don't know everything, I've learned that people are passionate about their politics, and I've learned that I only have one chance to live today, so I'd better make it count. I've learned that some things aren't worth fighting for and some things aren't worth paying for either. I've learned that God is faithful, He's just, He's amazing, and He cares about the little things in my life.

Today I'm thirty-five years old and I'm happy that God loves me. I'm thankful for everyday that I've been given, and I hope I give him my best efforts on all the days He gives me hereafter. I thank God for all the blessings of my life!

Second Grade Here We Come

2008-08-18T22:19:00.003-05:00

Hannah had some rocky times in first grade. She was troubled by some of the television that they watched during lunch, and very concerned that they would be showing it again this year. Thankfully the television is different this year, and she was much more relaxed about school this afternoon. Being a parent of a child that is anxious about attending school is not fun. I've never had to deal with that before. Hannah has always been excited about school and never seemed to miss me. This bothered me the first time I left her and she didn't even look back at me, but in the end I prefer that. It's much easier on me if I know she is happy and enjoying her day. I am hoping this year will continue to go well. I'm praying for it!

Simple, but Amazing

2008-08-10T21:41:00.004-05:00

I've not blogged in a while. Summer is always just so busy, and this summer has been no exception. To update you on the kitten, she (it is a girl) is doing well. She does not appear to have rabies. She is full of life, and we have adopted her as our office cat; the Diggs Law Office mascot.

Hannah and I have spent 2 weeks at church camp at the Bogg this year. We just got back from Kidz Kamp last week. We really enjoyed it. It was different than West-Central Camp. There were some things that I liked better about West-Central and then some I liked better about Kidz Kamp. The preaching was so kid friendly at Kidz Kamp. I decided that sometimes even adults need the simple preaching. We sometimes forget that God has said that we must come to him like children. There are adults who want their sermons to be deep and challenging, and sometimes we just need to remember that Jesus is God and he died to save us; he has set me free. That is powerful! I was bound by sin, but because Jesus came and conquered sin, I can now stomp on Satan. It's simple, but amazing!

The Whole Kit-N-Kaboodle

2008-07-18T21:23:00.005-05:00

Wednesday morning we headed for the car around 8:00 a.m., and when Terry started the car we heard this "meowing" start at a very loud and insistent rate. Terry turned off the motor, (I've heard horror stories about cats in the motor) and we raised the hood to see what we had. We had a tiny black and white kitten that was scared to death and ran up farther under the hood to a spot we could not reach or see. We got canned cat food and tried to lure it out, but finally had to get the water hose which obviously made it mad and it tried to run to the other side of the motor. Terry grabbed for the cat and he/she bit the fire out of him. Since it was a stray cat, we realized we had to keep it to check for possible rabies. We found out that we had to quarentine it for ten days to watch for signs of rabies. The only way to actually test for rabies is to kill it and cut off its head. Terry also had to get a tetanus shot. After calming down, and being fed, the kitten is just as sweet as can be. He/she has not hissed or acted the least bit wild. He/she just purrs and wants some attention. Hannah has spent every moment at the office sitting at his/her cage reading to him/her and showing the pictures, drawing him/her, and singing to the kitten. She has named it Star Dazzler Midnight. I think we may have us a new cat. It will not be joining our household cat, but may become an office cat. I've talked about getting a cat for the office because of our rodent problem--I guess I got my answer.

I Surrender All

2008-07-07T21:12:00.006-05:00

Last week, Hannah and I attended West-Central Camp at Bogg Springs. We went with our church, Mt. Moriah Missionary Baptist Church, and we had a visitor that went with us--Tracy Gray. He is the son of Bro. Merwin Gray who is the pastor of Hilltop Missionary Baptist Church. Last Thursday during class time, Tracy (who is 14 years old) surrendered to preach. When we got home late that night, he told his dad and allowed several of us to look on. I captured the moment in a couple of photographs.

You whatttt????

I just can't believe it!!!

Reading and Relaxing

2008-06-17T22:19:00.005-05:00

After the very busy, hurried week I had last week, I really needed some time to relax. Sunday, I started a good book, and I read it whenever I could yesterday and then stayed up until 11:30 p.m. to finish it. There is really something about a good book that just grips me. I get sucked into the plot and I just can't put it down. As a teenager, I remember spending my summer days reading. I would carry my book to the table and read and eat. I would carry my book to the bathroom and yes, I would sit and read. I've even read while in the bathtub. These days, I read in the car (while Terry drives), I read while I eat (if we don't go out to eat), and I read late at night after Hannah is asleep. Hannah has discovered the joy of reading too. She is reading on a chapter book right now, a Little House on the Prarie book, and she reads shorter books--usually over and over again. Today, we stayed home all day even though I wasn't sick. I didn't have a new book to start, and I also wanted to get some work done so I didn't want to get chained down to a book. I worked on some office work that needed some undivided attention, cooked some eggless chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, cooked a meatloaf, squash, mashed potatoes, and prepared some chicken to make enchiladas with tomorrow. I also washed some rugs, washed the dishes several times, vacuumed 95% of the house, and Hannah and I each painted two pictures (watercolors). It was just so nice to relax at home and not feel that I had to be somewhere at a certain time or do something every second. Oh, I almost forgot, I also took a nap for an hour. It's been forever since I've had a day like this, and I needed it. Next week, Barbara will be off work in order to prepare for her daughter's wedding. Terry is going to go camping--alone. Hannah and I will be holding down the fort at the office by ourselves. Then Hannah will be in the wedding (she's the flower girl) and on Monday after that we will be going to church camp. June has just dissappeared. So I guess I will go the Library and stock up on a few books, I will need to escape in the evenings. I highly reccomend it--it's a great way to relax!

Happy Father's Day!

2008-06-15T14:13:00.007-05:00

I want to wish my father, my husband and my son a Happy Father's Day! Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Happy Birthday Ashley!

2008-06-13T07:43:00.003-05:00

I have a wonderful daughter-in-law--Ashley. Even though Hannah is just 7, she has a very wonderful sister-in-law. When Hannah was in Kindergarten, she told her whole class she had a sister-in-haw. Since Ashley has been in our family, Hannah has included her in all the family pictures she draws--in fact sometimes she forgets some of us. Ashley has been a part of our family for several years now, and we love her, and hope she has a beautiful, wonderful, excellent, exciting, marvellous, and remarkable birthday! Happy Birthday Ashley!!!

Pugsley

2008-06-09T10:34:00.005-05:00

Hannah would love to have another dog, but we have four too many as it is. She did get to spend the evening with her Papaw this weekend and he has the cutest little pug puppy named Pugsley. They played together until they both collapsed on the couch. She is adorable!

How Can This Be?

2008-06-05T21:12:00.005-05:00

I've always shared my life with everyone, mainly because I know that something I say might encourage someone else or help them to not feel so lonely. I understand this even more now as I am going through my current life crisis. Yesterday, I went to the allergy doctor and discovered that I am allergic to trees, grasses, weeds, lots of molds, milk, and eggs. I came away with three different lists of foods that I should avoid and what wasn't on one list--was on the other. I didn't know that being allergic to molds comes with a list of food to avoid. Apparently all the health problems I've been experiencing are rooted in my allergies. This obviously cramps my style just a bit. I love food and love to cook, and I have to get motivated to learn some new recipes and new ways of cooking. It is somewhat depressing, and today it was wonderful to run into my old friend Linda Louton. I used to work with Linda at the Garland County Library and I always thought she ate so plain. She would eat plain rice, a plain meat, and a plain veggie. She has lots of allergies, and I now totally understand her. I don't want to eat anything that I don't know what's in it. Eating, one of my greatest joys, has become my worst nightmare. Talking to Linda really

did help just to know that I am not alone.

I did have some wonderful dairy free ice cream this evening. Except for the fact that sugar grows mold, it was totally legal. It was called Purely Decadent and the flavor was Peanut Butter Zig Zag. It was chocolaty and peanut buttery--yummo!

I know in time things will level out after I get used to the medicines and figure out foods to eat that my whole family will enjoy. Life has taken an interesting turn!

Just Stress!

2008-06-02T21:10:00.004-05:00

I've spoken about some health issues in the past and am starting to figure out some of my problems. For a little over a month, I thought I was allergic to some food that was causing me to have trouble swallowing. I was also still having my intestinal problems; therefore, I cut out all milk products and then all wheat products, but my problem just got worse. It started to happen when I drank cold water or would lay down. I finally told myself the obvious--this has nothing to do with what you are eating. I looked up dysphagia (difficulty swallowing) on the internet and realized that I was having esphoageal spasms. I went to the doctor and he ordered a barium swallow test to make sure I didn't have in strictures, lesions, or growths in my throat. I do not--I do have a very small hiatal hernia which should not be causing any problems and does not need to be treated.

So why am I having these problems with my esphoagus and my intestines? It's actually because of America's number one health problem--stress. Stress is the pressure or tension exerted on a material object; or a state of mental, emotional, or other strain. The problem with stress is that we endure it all day long. Our bodies are built to endure a certian amount of stress and actually it can make us more productive. We have just increased the amount of activity we acomplish in the normal routine of our lives, and if we throw in anything extra--a death, a flat tire, a sick child, a cold or flu, etc., then our bodies can hardly bare it. We are so busy running to and fro with our jobs, our extracurricular activities, and our children's activities, that we don't take time to rest and recuperate. I know that sometimes I work harder on the weekend than during the week at work. In Genesis 2:2, it says, "By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work." Our bodies need time to rest and recuperate from the stress of our lives. The problem with causing your body to endure more stress than it is capable of handling is that you can get ill. Your muscles can spasm, which control many of your body parts. I know one lady who swells up and gets welps like she's having an allergic reaction. She's actually not allergic to anything--it's just stress. I read one article that said 75-90 percent of all doctors visits were from stress related illness. The doctor does tests and then tells you, "it's just stress." When maybe he should sit us and down and say, "You have a serious problem, and you need to take a break." Remember next time you feel guilty about taking the extra moment for yourself or when you take a nap in the middle of the day, that "just stress" can kill you.

Awards and rewards!

2008-05-30T10:36:00.002-05:00

Hannah has been blessed and received 8 different awards yesterday at her awards ceremony. She has excelled in reading, math, science, and also received the Presidental Gold award. We are very proud of her and glad she is doing so well in school.

Regrets

2008-05-28T21:54:00.003-05:00

How many times in life have I felt regret. I’ve regretted things I bought, things I did, and places I’ve gone. I not only regret things I do, but I also regret things I’ve left undone as well. If only I had done that sooner or spoken to them instead of ignored them. The older I’ve gotten, I try my hardest to live my life with no regrets, but regardless of how hard I try, it is a rare day that I don’t have more than one regret when my head hits the pillow. I remember as a child playing with a paint can lid out in the back yard; I was flying it around like a frisbee. My little brother was in his wind up swing in the back yard and my parents were outside as well. My Dad told me to stop playing with the paint can lid because I was going to hit my brother. In my rebellion, I continued to throw the lid behind his back and what do you know, I hit my brother. I will never forget that day, because I got one more whipping. Paul says in Romans 7:15-17 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me."

It seems I always say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing and go the wrong places. Hannah is always saying "I wish I could just start this day over." She will just keep digging her hole deeper–she’ll do something wrong, then lie about it, then get angry and throw a screaming fit because she got punished which only leads to more punishment. Sin just has a way of leading us down a long road. I don’t even have to try to be bad, it’s just my nature. Adam and Eve are the only ones in the world (besides Jesus) to know what it was like to live a day without regrets. They had a perfect world with no sin nature and life was grand, until the serpent tempted Eve and she gave in. Can you just imagine the regret she tasted that day. For the first time she felt shame, guilt, pain, heartbreak, and yearning. She had never felt those things before. She wanted to hide, but couldn’t escape the feelings. How many of you have hidden at home because you couldn’t bear to face someone? Have you ever walked down a different aisle at Wal-Mart because meeting that person brought memories you didn’t want to relive? Have you ever stayed home from church because you didn’t want to face God? He sees you regardless of where you are, and sadly, someday you will face him regardless of how badly you want to hide. One of my favorite sayings, which I’ve blogged about before, is "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it." God has given us the ultimate "new day" as spoken of in II Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" I can only do my best, and pray that God will take the old nasty human part and use it as best he can. At the end of the day, I’ve got to give my regrets to God and move on to another day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILL!

2008-05-27T08:45:00.003-05:00

Will is 25 today and it's hard to believe he's a quarter of a century old. I've known Will for 17 years, and been a part of his family for 13 years. Will has had varied interests in his life and some of them were the themes for his past birthdays. He was into cowboys for a time, he was a magician, he was into the violin, and he's been into Sherlock Holmes. I've enjoyed being a part of Will's life and love to hear his laugh! That's what I miss most about him living at home--I don't get to here him laugh much anymore. Many times something funny will be on television and I will think, "Will would have laughed at that." I don't miss the fights and arguments that he and his brother were so famous for, and I'm sure they don't miss them either.

Will and Andy were probably about 11 and 12 here.

This picture was taken last October.

Precious Memories

2008-05-22T21:32:00.004-05:00

Every year at Hannah's birthday, I think, "why did I get myself into this?" I always try to do something on her birthday and then something with kids on a more convenient day. I do it because I love her and want her day to be special. It's also an exciting occasion for me because it marks the time we've accomplished together. Some parents only have a short time with their kids, and many times after some tragedy they wonder why they didn't do more with the time they had. I know that in a flash my daughter will be gone, and I need to enjoy every moment and hold it as long as possible. I gave Hannah's two parties this year. One was just with family and the other was at church with 9 kids and their families. I didn't take any pictures of the second one because I was busy cooking the meal for 18 people and then organizing the party games afterwards. She says it was the best birthday ever--just like she says every year.

A Labor of Love

2008-05-14T08:38:00.006-05:00

I decided I would make Hannah a special shirt for her birthday. It only took me about 2 1/2 hours of back breaking labor to do so. I only ruined two transfers and one T-shirt in the process. The look on her face when she saw it was worth the pain and effort. If you ever try to do iron-on transfers, don't read the directions. They will only confuse you. My common sense was much more help than that piece of paper!

Learning to Lean

2008-05-10T21:10:00.007-05:00

The past few months I have had some health issues going on. I talked about it in a recent post, but I've not actually got it all resolved. I've been afraid that I'm possibly having allergic reactions to food--they do sometimes mimic the reactions of IBS. I have started having panic attacks when I've eaten something that I don't know what's in it. I have an appointment with an allergy doctor June 4 and hope to find some answers then. In everything I go through, I know there is something God wants me to learn or know in every situation or maybe he just wants me to understand others.

I have really gotten a better understanding of panic. I don't know that I had ever trully had a panic attack until recently. It can cause tingling, heart racing and trouble swallowing which just feeds on itself and causes more panic. I've done a lot of praying and begged for peace. In Phillipian 4:6 it says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." It is so hard to pray and then quit being anxious. I wish I could tell you I have a secret that can help you, but I struggle with it just like everyone else. The only thing I've found to help is to do something. If I'm at home and I can't call someone, I will listen to music, read the Bible, or watch a Gaither Music video. If it's during the day, I may call someone or just try helping someone out. All these things get your mind focused on something other than your worries.

I think about Abraham and how he must have felt when he was walking up the mountain with Isaac. Can you just imagine the butterflies he had in his stomach. Isaac probably could sense it too. Even though he was doing what God asked and he trusted in God, he still had to be a little anxious. We've all had those moments when we felt insecure and did not know what the future held, and couldn't quell that unsteady feeling in the pit of our stomach. Jesus knows your pain. He prayed in the garden three times that he not have to endure Calvary, but wanted to do the will of the Father above all. Jesus was fully man so he could feel pain, but he was also fully God so he knew before hand just how much pain and suffering he would endure. Yet His love for me was so great, that He was still willing to walk up Golgotha for me and for you. Are you thinking today that you couldn't possible walk that mountain Jesus has asked you to walk? Are you praying that God will not make you endure the hardships you see coming down the lane? God understands, but above all he wants you to say nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done. For he trully understands and he's teaching you how to lean on Him.

Sharing the Word of God

2008-05-09T23:41:00.004-05:00

Last Monday night, my husband was invited to become a part of The Gideons International. This organization was founded in 1899, and is still going strong in 180 countries around the globe and they print the Scriptures in more than 80 languages. I'm sure everyone has seen a Gideon Bible in a hotel where you have stayed. If you've been to the fair, you've probably also received a little New Testament. When Hannah found out they handed out Bibles to people who did not have them, she wanted to join up too. They actually have a Ladies auxilary, and hopefully we can get involved also. One thing we do know is that the word of God is powerful and will as he promised in Isaiah 55: 11, "not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it."

The Bible Is New and Fresh

2008-05-05T21:55:00.006-05:00

It's amazing how many times I can study passages in the Bible and always learn something new. When I first started Bible Study Fellowship about 4 1/2 years ago, they asked to know what I thought my Bible knowledge was. At the time, I felt pretty secure in my Bible knowledge. I knew all the major stories of the Bible and could quote some scriptures, knew which book went with the old and the new, and could explain some of the more esoteric subjects. As I have studied the Bible a little more in depth over the past few years, I've discovered one very important fact. I know nothing! There are some many times that I read something and say, "Wow, how many times I have I read that scripture and just completely missed the meaning." It seems that every week in Bible Study, I learn something new that I had never discovered before. When I studied Genesis, I discovered that the Men of Faith from Hebrews 12 were just as flawed an sinful as myself. I learned from Israel and minor prophets that there really is something in those books that is useful to my present day life. In Matthew, I've read parables I never remembered reading before. I've also learned things about Christ's suffering and Crucifixion that I never quite got before. It is interesting to me how Joseph of Arimathea was a member of the Jewish ruling council and he voted against the crucifixion of Jesus. It also says in John 19:38 that Joseph was secretly a disciple of Jesus because he feared the Jews. I guess the secret was out when Joseph asked for the body and gave Him a proper burial. Then Nicodemus, who was also a member of the council and a disciple, came along to help. Sometimes persecution makes you stand up and speak up, and sometimes it makes you want to hide (like Peter).

Above all, I've learned that God's Word is powerful. At times, I feel Him speaking to me from His word. I can almost here His voice say, "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

Terry's Birthday Hike

2008-04-24T22:04:00.000-05:00

Most of these pictures were taken by Ashley Diggs, a couple were taken by my daughter Hannah. I was at home babysitting baby Gracie. I had the best time of them all.

God Directs

2008-04-21T22:06:00.007-05:00

As we approach graduation time, I can't help but remember my own graduation from high school which will be 17 years ago this May. I was so confused about what I should do and where I should go. My dad had recently lost his mangement position job and so my whole senior year was in a uproar. The scripture I clung to was Proverbs 3: 5-6

Trust the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not
unto thine own understanding.
In all thine ways acknowledge Him, and He
shall direct thy paths.

I know that over the years I have seen God direct my path, but I still haven't always understood what it meant for God to "direct" my path. It doesn't say that God will draw me a picture, speak in an audible voice and give me step-by-step instructions on where to go and what to do. It doesn't say he will send an Angel to tell me what will happening in my life. It doesn't say that I will get a neon sign informing me of God's next move. Webster's says that when used as a verb, direct means to control the operations of; to aim (something) in a particular direction; to supervise and control; or to give an order to." I think that all apply to God's directions. He should control the operations of my life, he has aimed me in the direction he wants me to go, he is the supervisor of my life, and he gives the orders. It doesn't mean that I always understand what he is doing or know what the outcome will be. He has just aimed me in the direction my path should take. I've always felt that my life with God was like a maze. I go this way and wham, there is a wall. I turn around and try another path. Sometimes those brick walls are there to slow me down. Sometimes God needs us to stop and listen as he directs. God closes doors and opens doors, it's up to us to walk through the open doors and to stop trying to break-in to the closed ones. He has given us a road map--the Bible. He has also given us a compass--His spirit. Stop, look around, and listen as God directs your path.

The Maestro

2008-04-17T21:32:00.009-05:00

Tuesday, April 15, 2008, was not only tax day, but it was also Andy's Senior Recital which is apparently just as important. Andy started playing the piano about fourteen years ago. He began taking lessons from Velma Bever. She was an older lady who has since passed away, but she was a fireball. Andy very quickly started playing well enough to play in church and he did quite often. Although, in the beginning Andy was still young and he really didn't like playing in front of people. I remember pushing him to play because he was just so good. I told him it was a talent God had given him and he should use it. Andy makes playing the piano look easy, but being a very amateur piano player myself, I know it is not as easy as he makes it look. Andy has been my accompanist at church for sometime. He quickly learned how to transpose, and since I don't sing any song in the key it's written, he is able to fix that for me.

Andy got a music scholarship to Central Baptist College which is where this recital was held. For his recital, he played Sonata in F Major K. 280 by Mozart, Roumanian Folk Dances by Bartok, Impromptu in A flat, op. 142 by Schubert, and Scottish Legend by Amy Beach.

Hannah is lounging with her brother at the piano.

The Last Two Tears

2008-04-09T21:35:00.008-05:00

Freddie Fikes left this life today around 3:00 p.m., and joined Jesus. As he took his last breath, he had two tears to escape his eyes. He has been at death's door since Saturday and very little, if any, recognition or emotion has been shown. But as he entered heaven's gates, God wiped away his tears and his last two tears seeped out. It says in Revelations 7:17 that, ". . .God shall wipe every tear from their eyes" It also says in II Corinthians 5:4, that "for while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened. . . " Bro. Freddie has battled cancer for ten years and has had a particularly harrowing fight the last two years. He has been burdened with pain and sickness, and he is finally well. God has healed him, just not in the way we had hoped.

Freddie loved God, his church, and his family. He fought to the last moment to stay with them just a little bit longer. In his later years, he surrendered to preach and traveled many miles giving back to God. Freddie was always a giver. He would help anybody. It didn't matter if they were a druggie, a thief, or a convicted felon. He believed that God could take you and totally change your life with His spirit. Untold hundreds of people have been helped by Freddie Fikes, and also attended church because that was one of the requirements of his assistance.

I have known the Fikes family all my life. My mom grew up with them and she doesn't remember not knowing them, and I am the same way. When my mother married my Dad, and I was about 2 years old, they bought Donna and Freddie's old house on Shady Grove road. I have memories of visiting them in their homes many times--I specifically remember going to their house on Sunday nights after church and this usually involved cheese dip or popcorn and a game of some sort. I remember they introduced me to Skip-bo.

For years, Freddie owned a car lot and he bought and sold used cars. He was also a good mechanic. When I was looking for a new car, he took me to a car auction in some other town and we tried some out, but he didn't think there were any there good enough (at least not in my price range). Then he heard of one that was owned by a man who had become ill and needed to sell his car and we went over and saw it. He finally decided that was the car for me and it lasted me for several years, one of which was spent driving back and forth to Arkadelphia to college. Then I passed the car on down to my brother who eventually wore it out. Freddie always had some advice to give me, I can't say I always took it, but I did always listen.

I lived with Freddie and Donna for 6 months when my own family was in turmoil, and one night in the middle of the early morning, Amber awoke to find her dog had died. Obviously, she was devastated, and Freddie stayed up all night crying with her. The Fikes family is one of the most close-knit families I know, and their home was always open to anyone. I wager to bet most of the people who know them, know where to find a key to their house and know they are welcome to come in if they need too. When I lived there, Donna told us we could have anyone over, so long as we (Amber and I) cleaned the house. I always tease Amber about how I just couldn't color code the towels in a way that would please her. There is a hole and an ache in my heart tonight. I will miss hearing Freddie's voice and listening to his advice. I will cry for the family who is going to miss him more than they would miss an arm. He was their heart, and it stopped beating today. I pray God will step in and fill the hole and bring them peace. I am comforted by the words to a song I remember he and Tawaynia singing so many years ago, "Tis so sweet, to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His word, just to rest upon His promise, just to know thus saith the Lord."

The Circus!

2008-04-04T23:11:00.002-05:00

Due to the heavy rain on Thursday night, the circus had to set up in the old Gymnasium in Glenwood and they were unable to use any animals in their performance. They did use dogs, and that was my favorite part.

My Problem

2008-04-03T20:56:00.007-05:00

For years, I've dealt with lots of digestive problems. I've wondered if I didn't have some strange disease that was going undiagnosed. In 2003, I had a severe episode, which was much different than all the others. I had diarrhea for five (5) weeks, at 8-10 times a day before I went to the doctor. When I went, a blood test showed that my sed rate (measures inflammation) was high and the doctor sent me to a Gastroenterologist. I then had a colonoscopy and she found that my small intestine was full of inflammation. The doctor was sure I had Crohn's Disease, but after several other tests that proved negative she gave up. I took 16 Pentasa a day from July, 2003, until February, 2004. At that time, against doctor's advice, I began to wean myself off of the pills and on April 1, 2004, I took my last pill. From then on, I never had diarrhea that severe again. I did still have digestive and intestinal discomforts at times, but nothing that didn't go away in a day or two. Also, stress sends me to the bathroom, and has continued to do so. In February of this year, I started having diarrhea again and it became severe. Not only is it inconvenient, it's depressing, and usually painful (crampy). It seemed that the episodes were linked to what I was eating so I began to try to find which food it was. I finally settled on soy--since it's in almost everything I eat. But when I removed soy from my diet, I still had problems. So I finally went to the doctor. I went to my family practitioner and he said it sounds like you just have "Irritable Bowel Syndrome". My GI doctor had said there was no such syndrome only Crohn's, Colitis and a handful of other irritable bowel diseases.

After my visit to the doctor this week, I decided to investigate Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It was like looking in a mirror. I read this off of a website and saw myself.

I would bet you already know from personal experience that some foods nearly always cause IBS problems, while others never seem to bother you. On the other
hand, you've also probably noticed that sometimes a specific food will trigger
an Irritable Bowel Syndrome attack, while at other times you can eat the exact
same thing without difficulty. Odds are it doesn't seem like there's any rhyme
or reason to this. Odds are also that you've been wracking your brain to figure
out why.

.
Sometimes, just knowing what you are facing can take away much of the fear. I have done a lot of reading the past several days and discovered lots of the foods that the doctor told me were good for me have actually been irritating my intestines. I also learned that many doctors don't recognize this disease because there is no test for it and because it was originally thought to be psychosomatic. The problem is that the symptoms are very real regardless of whether it's in my head or not. If anyone who reads this has suffered with problems that you think might be related to IBS please let me know. I am interested in talking with you. tammiediggs@yahoo.com

My Friend

2008-03-21T04:48:00.005-05:00

This week has been harrowing week for a friend of mine. I've known the Fikes family for all of my 35 years of life. In fact, I lived with them for about 6 months when my own family was having hard times. Last week, my friend Amber Fikes Lamb came home from Tennessee with her husband Chuck. They were here to be with her Dad since he is fighting a battle with cancer. On Monday, they told the family that he had 1-2 weeks to live. On Tuesday night she spent the night at the hospital and her husband stayed at her parents home. On Wednesday morning, she went home to get a shower and found her husband dead in bed. I'll never forget driving up to her house and seeing all the ambulances, coroner, and Sheriff cars. She was in absolute shock for a time, and then it started to hit her. I don't think it has quit hitting her. On Thursday, she had to visit the funeral home which was definitely no picnic. It breaks my heart and I don't even begin to understand the mind of God, but I have found comfort in the words to the song "Trust His Heart".

God is too wise to be mistaken;
God is too good to be unkind;
So when you don’t understand;
When you don’t see his plan;
When you can’t trace his hand;
Trust his heart.

Sweet Gracie

2008-03-14T21:31:00.005-05:00

We had a lovely visit yesterday evening with Will, Ashley, and Gracie. Gracie is just adorable. She was in a kissy mood and kept wanting to give kisses. She and Hannah played until 8:30 p.m. She is walking and loves to call herself Mama. She points to herself and says "Mama, Mama". I can't wait until we can see them again!

Miles Funeral Brings Reunion

2008-03-08T22:56:00.000-06:00

Friday Was a Snow day!

2008-03-08T21:55:00.007-06:00

Snow is so beautiful.

It makes the world look clean and covers a multitude of sins.

It also leaves a mess after it melts.

Hannah loved her snowman,

and she cried after it was murdered by one of the dogs.

They just knew the carrot nose and the raisin eyes were edible.

It's a snowwheeler.

Terry rode around in the snow on the 4-wheeler,

but he kept complaining of how cold it was.

Hello, it's snow!

My Lovely Daughter

2008-03-02T21:22:00.004-06:00

My daughter has started loving to cook! She is learning how to read the recipe, measure flour and sugar, crack eggs (without eggshell), and use the mixer. She made some delicous cookies the other day. Today she made a strawberry cake to take to fellowship dinner at church.

God Grew Tired of Us

2008-02-24T19:59:00.003-06:00

I watched a moving documentary this week about the lost boys of Sudan. If you want to feel guilty, blessed, disturbed, and grateful then I would suggest watching "God Grew Tired of Us". There were also humourous parts when the lost boys are integrated into the United States. On the airplane they ate their little pats of butter by themselves and the ketchup by itself. They said that the food on the plane just wasn’t as good as what they were used to. After you see how they had been living and eating, it makes this statement almost ludicrous to us. They had to be taught how to flip a light switch, use a trash can, go to the grocery store, etc. There was one humourous episode when a boy is smashing Ritz crackers with the handle of a hammer, then he added milk and boiled it into some sort of mush.

I have never really understood the whole situation of the lost boys, and I will try to impart the little knowledge I have gained. When Sudan began to have conflict a couple of decades ago, there was a decree made that all boys 12 years and under in the South of Sudan should be killed. Therefore, a mass exodus of young boys left and began a dangerous trek across the desert and into Ethiopia seeking asylum. Eleven and Twelve year old boys became the head of household and would have several younger children to care for. They walked for miles and miles, and many thousands of them died. Some of the boys were in charge of burying the dead. One of the lost boys was being interviewed some 17 years later, and he said, "we thought God had grew tired of us, and was punishing us for all the bad things we had done." He also said, "We knew God was with us, or we would have never made it through the desert." One of the lost boys also said, "Americans should be more grateful for what they have." I think if God has grown tired of anyone, it would be the ungrateful Americans. I pray that I will use the gifts God has given me more efficiently and effectively.

One Touch

2008-02-09T22:09:00.000-06:00

In the Middle of His Will

2008-02-04T10:32:00.000-06:00

While studying story of how Peter walked on water, I discovered a very important detail that I have always overlooked. It says in Matthew14 :22, "Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side. . . . " Afterwards he went to a mountainside alone to pray, and they were in the middle of the lake when a storm blew up. What I learned was that you can be in a storm, and be right smack in the middle of the will of God. Jesus told them to get in the boat and go out on the water, and we know who controls the wind and waves.

How many times do I question where I am at when things don't go as smoothly as I think they ought to? I always think I missed the boat or misheard God's direction when I end up in a storm. I think I was listening to my own direction and not God's. Storms still come even when we are in the middle of God's will, but he will be there to help us, comfort us, and calm the winds.

An Example

2008-01-27T21:01:00.000-06:00

Hannah was baptized last Sunday, and today I learned that even a six year old can be a witness. There is a little girl in our church who is four years old and she told her Grandma, "when I grow up, I want to be saved and baptized like Hannah." It always amazes me how we can have an impact on someone that we don't even know is watching us. When I was a teenager, a lady at my church told me that she had told her daughter to pattern her life after me. My husband had a colleague tell him he was making changes in his life because of the example he had seen him living.

Jesus says in John 13:15 that "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you." God wants us to act in a certian way in order to show the world who He is. When I talked with Hannah about how we must follow God and do the things he wants us to do after we are saved, she said "how do I know what that is." I told her that we must study the Bible. In I Corinthians 10:6 it says, "Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they [people of Old Testament days] did." Not only do we have the example of Jesus in the Bible to show us how to act, we also have the example of many people who did the "human" thing; our example of how not to act.

Connecting With Old Friends

2008-01-18T21:13:00.000-06:00

Somedays I just want to talk to old friends. Today I've talked to 4 of my old friends. I have known Amber since she was born, but I was just four months old when she was born. Although I do remember playing together when I was just 3 years old. I have lived with her and her family, and she is like a sister to me. She now lives in Tennessee, but we still see each other and talk throughout the year.

Bridgette lives in Hot Springs. She is married to a lawyer and works in the Garland County Prosecutor's Office. I have known of her since I was just a babe, but we have been close friends since we were about 12 years old. We have both married lawyers and work in the field of law. Who would have ever thought?!

I have two friends named April and I talked to both of them today. The first April I met in seventh grade. I moved to Lake Hamilton and she introduced herself and we've been friends ever since. She has adopted 5 children, and is an angel. She has blessed many children because of her big heart.

The second April is a couple of years younger than me and I've also known her since she was just a babe also. I haven't talked to her in a couple of years, but we reconnected tonight. She has recently become CFO of Farmers Bank in Magnolia Arkansas. She has a little boy that was born premature and I still remember holding him when he was as light as a feather. He is 5 now, and healthy as can be.

I have been very blessed to have lots of friends. Presently, Terry and I have some friends from our church who have decided to come and help us on our house, and they have been lifesavers. We actually have electricity now and we thought it was going to cost us $5,000.00. Good friends should be treasured and cared for. I've dealt with individuals who couldn't scrape up a single friend to support them in a divorce or in their time of need. I am so blessed that God has showered me with an abundance of friends. I actually talked to two other friends today that I see weekly. I talk to one friend everyday--sometimes multiple times. I love you all, and if you count me as a friend and haven't talked to me in a while--give me a call!

Baptism

2008-01-15T21:38:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, I told you about Hannah asking Jesus to forgive her sins and be her Savior. Last Monday night on the way home from Bible Study, she asked me what Baptism was all about. I explained it to her, and she told me she'd been worried about it. She said that she felt like it was something that she needed to do. So Sunday she walked in front of the church and asked to be baptized. She will be baptized this coming Sunday. We will have lots of family there, and it promises to be an exciting day.

In other news, I still haven't actually gotten the check for my van yet. I am starting to get "antsy". She told me she would mail it on Friday. I am trying to be patient, but tomorrow it will be 5 weeks since I had my wreck. Normally these things go much quicker, and I would hate to have to find a lawyer to sic on them.

Finally!

2008-01-10T20:33:00.000-06:00

In my last blog I said that I was supposed to learn on January 2 what I would be getting for my van. I'm glad I didn't hold my breath, because today is the day I learned. Thankfully, I get to keep my van and will get enough money to fix it.

We are also working on our house again, and after the many trials of 2007, I think that 2008 is looking better.

Hannah has decided she wants to be baptized. She is planning to go forward this Sunday. I guess we will see if she is still got her courage on Sunday. She was pretty sure of herself the other night. She wanted to be baptized, but was afraid she wasn't old enough. After I told her she was old enough--it was settled. I am so glad that she has such a soft heart. She wants to do the right thing. Like all of us, she doesn't always do it, but she has a good conscience.

I'm just glad that I can see better days ahead.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T18:24:00.000-06:00

It's been many days since I've blogged--I've been hibernating. We always close the office from Christmas to New Year's and I always dread coming out of hibernation and back into the real world. I've hardly even been on the internet and haven't checked my email everyday. It's actually kind of nice to hide from the world every once in a while. Last night we went to the annual New Year's Eve singing at Mt. Tabor Community Church. We actually stayed to the bitter end--which was midnight. Normally Terry is in bed early on New Year's Eve, and it was nice to sing in the new year with friends and family. Hannah actually stayed awake for the entire evening, but she was ready for bed as soon as we got home.

I've spoken about my van, and that is a sore subject. The adjuster informed me last week (after I finally chased him down) that he was going to total my Van. I told him I wanted to keep it and he told me that I should learn the amount I will be getting tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath, because they haven't really done anything like they said yet. I didn't get a rental because they were going to charge me $13.00 a day to cover the full coverage insurance I do not have. I'm hoping things start looking up tomorrow.

So for the New Year, everyone is always making resolutions and vowing to change. My vow is to relax more and to let it go. Life is really about preparing for the hereafter and not about the stuff I can collect down here. I'm going to budget my money better, and serve God with more enthusiasm than ever.

I may also talk more about politics in the future, because I have become very convinced that based on the life of Jesus, those that have should share with those who have not. I know it's a very "democratic" idea, but I believe it is also biblical.

On that note, I will let you move on.

Thank You!

2007-12-20T22:45:00.000-06:00

Today I got a call from the insurance adjuster and he told me that they are accepting liability and will be paying for the damage done to my vehicle. They will also pay for me to have a rental. I don't know what they thought I've been doing for the past 8 days. Regardless, I'm taking the rental for everyday that they will pay. Hopefully it's not a Geo Metro. I'm tired of being cramped in Andy's little car. It's really hard to get groceries or anything when Andy's trunk is full of dirty clothes and the inside is carrying us. The other day when we stopped, Hannah said, "finally! Now I can stretch my legs." I am very thankful to God that my van will get fixed! Merry Christmas to all!

God is Good--all the time!

2007-12-13T21:59:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it seems that everything in life is against you. Your sink clogs up, you have a flat tire, your dryer quits working, and your dog runs away all in the same week. It's like God is tightening the screws, turning up the heat, and beating you into submission. I've had one of those weeks, and I don't know that I am passing the test. I've been grouchy today, and I keep thinking "why is everything going wrong?" "What is God trying to teach me?"

Yesterday, I dropped my daughter off at her piano lesson and was going to the bank. I was no more than a block from where I dropped Hannah off when a lady smashed into me. I have about $4,000.00 worth of damage to my van, and the lady did not have a proper driver's license, so there is a chance that her insurance will not pay. I was not hurt, and Hannah was not with me which was a good thing. This wasn't the first stressful thing that had happened this week, and I'm guessing it won't be the last thing this week either.

One thing God has been teaching me is that this life is not about me. God has a plan, and although he cares about the smallest aspects of my life, he also has a bigger plan than me. He's also been teaching me that life is not all about the here and now. I have a better day coming. There will be no more stressful jobs or hectic schedules. I won't have to be separated from loved ones. It's going to be one big fellowship dinner, and Jesus will be the guest of honor. Life is also not about the stuff I accumulate. Things are not important to God, and I don't need to be attached to the things of this world.

I know God will let His glory show in every circumstance of my life, I just have to rest in Him. It says in Matthew 11:6, "And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me. " God has given me more than I deserve, and I pray that I will forever be grateful and never offended in the paths God leads me down.

You Can't Steal My Christmas

2007-12-06T13:16:00.000-06:00

**I found this poem on the net and wanted to share with all.

YOU CAN'T STEAL MY CHRISTMAS
by Sharon Steege

I don't know who they are
Saying I can't greet the crowd
The way that I want to
Can't say "CHRISTMAS" out loud.

I walk into a business place
See things that I rather not see
But dare I not say "CHRISTMAS"
And ask for a "holiday" tree.

What happened to freedom of speech
And living in the land of the free
How can they take my "CHRISTMAS" money
But can't say "MERRY CHRISTMAS" to me.

Men and women have given their lives
So we could still go free
I wonder how they would feel
At saying "HOLIDAY TREE."

Come on AMERICA let's wake up
Don't let our freedom escape
If they get by with doing this
What else will they take.

This is starting to get out of hand,
And I've begun to keep track
Well I've just about had enough
I'M TAKING CHRISTMAS BACK.

So MERRY CHRISTMAS AMERICA
I hope this gets all over the net
If we all stand united and take freedom back'
Twill be our best CHRISTMAS YET!

Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday Jesus!

Offended or Touchy?

2007-12-05T10:49:00.000-06:00

It seems that today we are always so afraid to offend someone, and because of it we no longer say Merry Christmas, and Santa Claus cannot say "Ho, Ho, Ho". What is the matter with us. If someone says Happy Hannakuah to me, I would not be offended. I might say "Oh, it's Hannakuah, I did not know that." As a Christian, Christmas is my holiday that represents the birth of Christ. I haven't complained about Santa and his elves clouding my holiday. I also celebrate the season of giving that we have in December, because I am American and it has become an American holiday. I may choose to wish you a Merry Christmas and you are more than welcome to have a sad and depressing one instead. Don't fault me for mine though, for since Christ has come into my life, I plan to have a Merry Christmas. I pray that you will understand the meaning of Christmas someday.

Waiting For Gracie

2007-11-28T08:14:00.000-06:00

Since today is Gracie’s birthday, I wanted to share my memories of the day of her birth, but I will have to start a few days before. Sometime on a Monday morning in November, Will called me and said "Ashley’s water just broke, and we are headed to the hospital." All I could think is, "it is just too soon." I offered the hopeful suggestion that perhaps the baby had just pressed really hard against her bladder and her water really hadn’t broken, but they were pretty sure it had. I immediately started to pray. Even though I’m the step-mother and a grandmother by default, I still love them like they were my own and was worried. Things rocked along for several days and most of you already know the story. The day that Will called to say that Ashley was actually in labor, we started getting things ready to go to Little Rock. I wanted to get my Mom to pick up Hannah from school, because I felt like she would get bored at the hospital and she just hates hospitals. She hates the bells and whistles of the machines, the needles, and the thoughts that somebody is hurting. Terry finally convinced me that she needed to be there. We arrived at UAMS about noon on November 28th. We ate lunch with Bro. Kelvin and Will and then we all commenced to wait. We popped in and out to see Ashley (who was pretty miserable) we walked the hallways, watched television, made friends with the other patient’s families, and grazed in the cafeteria. Sometime just before midnight, Gracie was born. We were standing in the hallway and saw them whip her out of the room and into another room. We waited and waited. They kept telling us she was doing as well as could be expected. I didn’t really know what that meant being that I wasn’t a doctor. Finally around 2:00 a.m. on November 29, we got to see little Gracie for the first time. She was little and tubes poked into her, and she was in a glass box, but she was alive and looked beautiful. Her aunt Hannah stayed awake for the entire thing, and she was in awe the first time she saw her. I had to print out pictures for her to take to school the next day, Yes, she did go to school that day despite the fact that we didn’t get home until 3:30 a.m. We were tired, but we were excited; Gracie was here. At age one, Gracie is so beautiful and perfect. She doesn’t have any physical defects as she could have had. In the process of this whole ordeal, Will got the job he now has today. God is so good and has such great plans. I’m so grateful for His grace on little Gracie.

I'm Still Here

2007-11-26T22:09:00.000-06:00

I know I haven't been very studious in blogging, but I have been busy. We had a great Thanksgiving. On Thursday, I went to my Mom's house and both of my brothers were there. Daren is currently living in Scottsbluff, Nebraska so we don't get to seem him as much anymore. He won't be here for Christmas either. On Friday, I got up at 5:00 a.m. and left the house by 5:30 a.m. to head out shopping. I did well this year--I paid cash for everything and finished my Christmas shopping for Hannah. On Saturday, we headed up to Searcy to visit with Will, Ashley, Gracie, Andy, and their Grandparents, Dot and Grady Arthur. They are getting older and the boys are their only family so we try to visit with them when possible. Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving and please watch for the special blog I will have on Wednesday.

Prayer

2007-11-19T09:08:00.000-06:00

I have decided to start studying prayer. Recently, in my study of Matthew, I studied the scriptures in chapter 6 about prayer. I got to thinking that having people pray in church for all to hear may not be appropriate or even biblical. Matthew 6:5 states, "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men." I know that it also has something to do with the attitiude, and most people I know are not hoping that they will be called on to pray in front of the church. For me, prayer is a very personal matter. When I am called on to pray at church, I always feel that I have to say things just right, not stutter, and have beautiful words. I feel very uncomfortable, and am usually trying to not be called on. I really think prayer is me communicating with God and that it should be between me and him only. Although, I'm not completely set in this opinion, I am willing to be pursuaded. I may do some further blogs, as I decide just what I think the bible says about prayer.

Jesus Use Us

2007-11-08T10:54:00.000-06:00

Hannah really does seem to have made some changes. This week she keeps talking about her "prayer list" and how there are certian kids she has put on her prayer list. Last night, I put her to bed and afterwards I heard her talking and asked what she needed. She said, "nothing, mom, I'm just praying." In the past, she always wants me to "pray for her". She says she just doesn't know what to say. I just makes me so happy to see her depending on Jesus. I was much older before I really learned to depend on Him, and it really does ease your worries.

In other news, I have signed up to volunteer at Gardner Elementary and was assigned to a Kindergarten teacher. I am going today on my lunch hour to meet the kids and help out a little. I plan to help every other Friday afternoon from 12:30 until 3:00, and every other Thursday from 12:00 to 1:00. I really enjoy getting to know the kids and working with them one on one. There are some kids that really just need a hug and some encouragement. There are studies that show the grades of children improve after having regular, positive contact with an adult. I am praying God will use me to love these needy kids.

Sunday Was Hannah's New Day

2007-11-05T22:14:00.000-06:00

In my last post, I talked about Hannah and our conversations about Jesus dying for our sins. I know she's been thinking lots about it. We've had conversations in the past about her giving her life to Jesus and asking Him into her heart, and she has said that she would wait until she was older. A time or two she also got "worried" about remembering to do it when she got older, she said she really didn't want to go to hell. Sunday night, we talked about it and she told me that she wanted to ask Jesus to be her Savior. After she prayed, she said "whew, now I don't have to worry about doing it when I'm older." She had apparently been worried about it. Tonight after Bible Study, we were asking her what she learned and she started crying. She said, "Mom, they said that worrying is a sin, and I worry all the time." She cried for several minutes because she didn't realize she had been sinning so much. In Matthew 5, it says, Blessed are those that mourn. I've come to understand that this is referring to mourning over one's sin. Sometimes, people have a flippant attitude about sin, and say, "well, I'll just repent about that and do it anyway." We fail to realize that our sin put Jesus on the cross and He endured a horrible, tortuous death because of our sin. We should mourn over the sin we commit, and try our best to change. I'm so happy that Hannah has given her life to God, and that she started a new day in her life.

Tomorrow Is A New Day

2007-11-01T10:58:00.000-05:00

Last night, Hannah and I had a long heart-to-heart talk. I discovered a fairly large hole in her shirt and it was a new shirt that she has only worn twice. She had a problem a while back cutting inappropriate things such as her clothes, the cat’s whiskers etc., and so I immediately suspected her, but didn’t accuse. I asked what happened and she had that "deer in the headlights" look and immediately said, "my friend did it." I asked, "which friend?" She then said "I’m sorry Mom." This brought on a whole other discussion about lying to me. I also discovered that it was not an accident, but that she cut her shirt on purpose. She doesn’t know why she did it, because it’s her favorite shirt, and I certainly don’t understand. We cried lots of tears, and she prayed and asked God to forgive her. She was also very distraught and questioning whether or not I still loved her. I had been saying I loved her through this whole tirade and I hadn’t screamed and hollered and locked her in the dungeon. I did tell her she would have to pay for the shirt and I took her only $5.00 bill. I thought about it, and realized that she just felt that she had been so horrible that nobody could love her. I have felt that same way at times. We then talked about Jesus love for us and how he died so that our sins could be forgiven. I also used one of my favorite quotes to encourage her, "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it." When God forgives he gives us a new day–a new life–with no mistakes in it. He wipes the slate clean and he cast our sins as far as the East is from the West. I’m so glad Jesus died for me.

Thank God For His Blessings

2007-10-25T21:59:00.000-05:00

I just want to thank God for his blessings--especially in how he's blessed Hannah. Every night (or nearly every night) Hannah and I pray together, and I always pray that God will send His angels with her each day and that they will surround her and keep her safe. When I started praying this, many of her fears became less intense. I also pray that she will be able to listen, pay attention, and learn at school. I pray that God will help her to do the right thing each day. I pray for her teacher and pray that God will give her wisdom and patience to teach the kids. Somedays we pray for particular kids depending on what happened that day.

Today we had parent teacher conference and Hannah received all A's, the Principal's Award, and Perfect Attendance. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to take care of Hannah and have her in my life. Just as he allowed me to be in the lives of Will and Andy, he was also in control of placing Hannah in my life and she is trully a blessing. Not that she is perfect, because she can be grouchy and difficult with the best of them, but I do love her dearly. She always strives to do good. She wants to make good grades and do the right thing. The other day one of her friends "quit" being her friend and found some new friends. I told her to just keep being her friend anyway. A week or so later, this little girl's "friends" left her, and as Hannah said "she came back to me". She told me, "Mom, God had a plan for me and Alexis all along." It is funny to listen to her process these "minor" problems with such sincerity. For her, these problems are her entire world. I am glad she is learning to find God's hand in every situation. Which brings up the subject of Bible Study. Hannah is also doing well there. Her teachers think she's brillant, and I've already learned that she retains the Bible better than I do. Oh, to be a child again!

Death Will Come For Us All

2007-10-23T21:35:00.000-05:00

It seems that I've been surrounded by death lately. Several days in a row, we were called to go and do wills or estate planning for people who were either in the hospital or at home dying. Terry and I went to the home of one particular lady, and she was very pleasant and seemed quite content. She was very clear minded, and to be quite honest I thought she would probably last a few more months; she seemed fairly healthy. She told us she had cancer, and this was the third time. She had beat it two times before. She had seven children and three of them were there. I had to go back to her house on Friday of that week and I had her sign some papers and spoke to her. She was sitting up and seemed very chipper. We discussed that she was a member of the Church at Crossgate and the fact that she believed in God. She died a couple of days later.

A member of my church, Lois Hibbs, died early Monday morning. She was older and living in the nursing home, but actually seemed to be in fairly good physical health for her age. I've discovered that age and health have nothing to do with life really. When God decides your life is over, then you had better be ready.

Still another lady that I knew passed away this week. She was a sister of a dear friend, and her sister had prayed so earnestly for a miracle and that God would spare her. But God had other plans, and she instead has gone home. I've seen God take the young and the old, but the fact stands that death will come for us all. Are you ready to meet Jesus? Who is your master?

What If. . . .

2007-10-19T13:25:00.001-05:00

I was listening to the radio the other day and the song "Fifteen" by Greg Long came on. It is a very moving song which poses the thought that it may take as many as fifteen times for someone to hear about Jesus before they will believe. Therefore, if that's the case, we must tell everyone, because we never know if we're the first, the fourth, or even the fifteenth. This is a gripping thought to me, because what if it takes that many people telling someone to convince them that Jesus is real and worth serving, and what if I fail in the line of things? What if it all comes down to you or me? I read a statistic one time that it takes something like five invitations to someone before they will agree to attend an event. There was the story about a man who was invited to a special church event and the first time he was invited he said "absolutely not". The second time he said, "no, I don't think so". The third time he replied, "we'll see." The fourth time he said, "I'll think about it." Then the fifth time he said, "sure, I'll come." I guess we can bug them until they come, but the point is that we should never give up. This time just might be the time they decide to come to Jesus.

Tribute to Will

2007-10-19T08:50:00.000-05:00

Ten years ago today, I had the pleasure of listening to Will preach his first sermon. It lasted all of 12 ½ minutes, and I thought it was the best sermon I had ever heard. He was very brave, because he used as his text the scripture which speaks of Paul and Epaphroditus–which is a very difficult name to pronounce.

I will never forget Sunday, August 10, 1997, when Will surrendered to preach. He was just 14 years old, and I have never been more shocked. Will had gone to church camp the week previously, and after coming home that weekend he seemed to be quieter than normal. I just blamed it on the fact that he probably had gotten very little sleep at camp, but apparently not. At the end of service that Sunday, he came forward and announced he felt God calling him to preach. Since that time, I can say that Will has always had God as his top priority. That does not mean he was a perfect teenager who always cleaned his room and treated his brother with respect, but he was never ashamed of the gospel of Christ. He would take his Bible to school every day and they called him "preacher boy". He did his research paper on the life of Paul, and was always studying the Bible. Watching him, made me want to study more.

I thank God he has allowed me to be in Will’s life and watch him grow into the man and preacher he is today. I have to say that every time I hear Will preach, I think, "Wow, he is a really good preacher." Although, I have been known to offer "constructive" criticism at times. At present, Will is the director of the Missionary Baptist Student Fellowship located on the campus of UALR. He is married to Ashley Diggs and they have a very beautiful daughter named Gracie. I pray God’s blessings on them all.

Martha Gets a Bad Rap

2007-10-07T22:09:00.000-05:00

I have had busy weekend working at the church. We had a big meeting and had to provide three different meals, and then we also had lunch after Sunday School today. I feel a little like Martha in the Bible. She was stuck in the kitchen, and Mary got to hear all the teaching. I am not complaining, because I wanted to work and help in the best way needed. I do think that Martha gets a bad rap though. If I and the other women had been sitting and listening to the teaching this weekend, and not preparing the food, I am sure we would have heard some grumbling from the others concerning this. I am sure Martha understood this concept and had probably dealt with grumbling appetites before, but Jesus told her that she worried needlessly and that Mary had chosen the better thing. In my work for God, I have come to realize that there are times that I have to miss out on worshiping while I am taking care of other preparations. I just spend other times in worship and study--it may be just me and Jesus meeting together--but I find time to spend with Him. I would encourage you to take notice of the people in your church who are playing the piano, teaching Sunday School, helping with children’s programs, and cooking for church meals, and remember that Marthas need to learn and worship too. There may be a Mary out there who is soaking up all the teaching and needs to give Martha a turn.

Wisemen Teach Us To Worship

2007-09-30T15:24:00.000-05:00

Where is He that is born King of the Jews? For we have seen his
star in the East, and are come to worship Him. Matthew 2:2

Some of the first people to worship Jesus were the wisemen, and if we follow their example, we can also learn how to worship.

Search. First we must search for Him. The wisemen had studied the Bible and knew that the star meant something special. They also knew that the baby was the Christ. They knew He was worthy of their worship, and went seeking Him. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 4:29, "if. . . you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul." How do we search? We study His word which tells us all we need to know about God.

Bow. We must also bow our hearts to Him. We must give him the honor and remove ourselves from the equation. In order to worship, we must bring Him glory and not ourselves. When we bow, we show reverence and a removal of pride. In almost every verse in the Bible that speaks of worship of the true God, it also speaks of bowing.

Give. The wisemen also gave to Jesus. It was sacrificial giving; it was the best they had to give. Hannah sometimes goes through her toys, at my behest, so that we can make room for more. She always says, "I will give these toys to kids who don’t have any", but she never gives them her best toys, she gives the ones she no longer wants. God wants us to give him the best, not the stuff we have no use for or are broken. He wants our very best.

Change. After worshiping Jesus, the wisemen left and went back a different way. Their eyes were opened, and they realized that Herod was not telling the truth. They were changed by worshiping Jesus. Our worship should change us. We should also have a better understanding of Jesus after worshiping Him.

Mary Said, "Yes"

2007-09-23T14:46:00.000-05:00

"And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that are highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: belessed art thou among women." Luke 1:29

Although Mary was highly favored of God, she was not given a break. Being highly favored of God usually brings you greater responsibility. I cannot even imagine the pressure Mary was under when she discovered that she was going to have a child. She knew what people would think and who would blame them–we would all think the exact same thing. I am sure the gossip mill was working overtime, and I can hear them saying things like, “good, straight-laced Mary, look at what she’s gotten herself into.” “I would have never thought Mary would do such a thing.” “Joseph says he’s not the father, I can’t believe he’s going to marry her anyway.”

When God sent the angel to give Mary the scoop, he goes through the whole spiel, and Mary does not argue or complain or weep uncontrollably, all the scenarios I imagine myself doing, but she simply says, “I am the Lord’s servant, may it be to me as you have said." Matthew 1:38 She didn’t beg him to use someone else like Moses did, she didn’t run away like Jonah, she didn’t come up with a “better” plan like Abraham, she just said, “let it be”. I long for that peace and security that I can say, “God it doesn’t matter what you ask me to do, I’ll do it.” I pray that I will listen to God and hear when he speaks, and when He says go, I hope I will say, “I am the Lord’s servant, let it be.”

Waiting on God

2007-09-19T10:02:00.000-05:00

"Just Wait!" Nobody likes to hear those words, but it seems that waiting is what we do more than anything. I want to be doing something all the time. If I am on hold with someone on the phone, I will be typing or doing some other desk work while I wait. Waiting is also necessary. Not everyone can be first; therefore, someone ends up waiting. Waiting is something we learn about in the Bible and there is a way in which God wants us to "wait" on Him.

Wait Expectantly In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:3 We are supposed to expect God to answer our pleas. We should make our requests known to him first thing when we wake up and then wait. I generally pray and think that God will probably tell me "No", but expectantly speaks of waiting with hope.

Wait Eagerly But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope. Galations 5:5 This seems like a oxymoron, but Hannah waits eagerly for many things. She waits eagerly for all the holidays, vacations, parties, and any other fun outings. One reason it’s hard for me to wait eagerly on God is because I don’t know what He has planned for me. I must realize though that he does have "good plans" for me.

Wait Patiently Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Psalm 37:7 Although Hannah is good at waiting eagerly, she is definitely not good at being patient-- not that many of us are. Patience means the capacity to tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without becoming angry or upset. We worry and try to help Him out, because we know He meant to take care of our situation long before now. He must have lost track of time. It is so hard to understand that He is in control and has His own time table.

Wait Quietly It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3:26. This is probably the hardest one for me. I may wait, but it won’t be quietly. I will have to gripe and complain about how long it’s taking for God to answer me. I won’t understand why He answered the way He did, and I will definitely want to explain His method.

In Numbers 9:8 it says that Moses answered them saying, "Wait until I find out what the LORD commands concerning you." We should not make one move without knowing what God wants. Sometimes He just wants us to stay where He has put us and do the best we can in our present position. According to the Bible, it is wise to wait and find out what He wants us to do before we move forward.

Hugs from Heaven

2007-09-16T15:30:00.000-05:00

And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in his season; there shall be showers of blessing. Ezekiel 34:26

I attended the Arkansas ABA Women’s Retreat this weekend along with Missy Smead and Sharon Rosenbaum. We heard some good music on Friday night presented by Beth Hambrick of New Testament Missionary Baptist Church in Lonoke, Arkansas. Martha Owens, from Landmark Missionary Baptist Church in Mt. Enterprise, Texas, spoke to us on Saturday.

Sis. Owens spoke of how God will give us showers of blessings, and then asked, "What do you want?" She answered the question by saying most everyone just wants to matter to someone. We want to feel like we are important to our family or church. The problem arises when we expect to be validated completely by humans. Our husbands, wives, children, pastor, or teachers will not be able to give us a feeling of significance all the time. When they don’t, we then feel like a failure. Our significance must come from God. He is the only one who can sufficiently give us self-worth.

Another way in which the devil tries to steal our blessings is by causing us to worry. Sis. Owens commented that "we worry about time and money more than anything else, and they both mean nothing to God." She also stated that we can be a "warrior or a worrier," but we cannot be both. We have to learn that God will take care of us, and there are times when we get hurt in the battle because we have simply failed to wear our armour.

Bible Study

2007-09-14T08:37:00.001-05:00

I have spoken before about Bible Study Fellowship--the bible study that I attend on Monday nights. We have started up again, and Hannah is able to go this year. I've been excited and a little nervous wondering how she would fit in. She was excited and I think she was expecting fun games, of which there were none. Although she said it was boring and they did "a lot of talking", she wanted to read her Bible before she went to bed that first night, and has reminded me that we need to do her Bible Study. She is also excited about being able to answer the questions. I am hoping that she will soon be reading well enough to read and write the answers to the questions herself and do the Bible reading herself, because right now I am having to help with hers and do my own.

We are studying the book of Matthew and we had to read the entire book this week. That has been a little challenging for us since there are 28 chapters. I have to admit I haven't been able to get Hannah to sit still for 8 chapters at a time. I have read her enough to answer her questions, and called it quits. I am looking foward to what God will do with the knowledge she gains. I am also excited about studying Matthew, because its concepts speak to our daily living. Romans had some difficult concepts to grasp, and Matthew, although it may not be "fun" learning is at least easily understood. So far my favorite passage is Matthew 6: 25-34

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Ignorance: Is it really bliss?

2007-09-07T17:23:00.000-05:00

The other day I heard myself say to a lady "I guess ignorance is bliss, until you get caught." This was because she had "thought" she had sufficiently dealt with a matter, despite the many warning signs to the contrary. Then she got caught, literally, and hauled to jail. I find myself listening to people's problems and thinking the only real good answer we can give them is, "you should have come to us years ago." By nature, I think we tend to procrastinate. We put off those things we don't want to think about until we just have to think about them. We (my husband and I) execute more Wills in the hospital than we do in our office. It's amazing how many people end up in the hospital, and realize that they might die, and need to prepare. Dealing with God is probably one thing that people put off the most. I guess it's because nobody has failed to deal with the problem, been introduced to the consequences, and lived to tell about it.

It says in Mark 13:32 that no man knoweth the day or the hour when Christ shall return. The fact of the matter is that we do not know when we will exit this life. Whether Jesus comes back in our lifetime or not, we will enter eternity at some point. I read the obituaries everyday, and they range in age from infant to teens, to 20s to 90s. I pray that you have taken care of those important matters in your life, and don't wait until there is no more time. It doesn't really matter that you did not know the exact time. Don't get caught unprepared for your eternity.

He Lifts Me Up

2007-09-03T21:42:00.000-05:00

I am a devoted fan of Dottie Rambo. I have not heard a song she wrote that I did not immediately feel a connection to. I always think, "that is exactly how I would have written that song--if I'd have thought of it first." The other night, while feeling a little melancholy, I watched a DVD of Dottie being heralded by Bill Gaither. They sang one of the songs she had written, entitled "When I Life Up My Head". The next morning, the preacher spoke on the subject of "Looking to God". It never fails that when I give my fears and worries to God, that he doesn't somehow help me bear the burden. I want to share the words of this song with you--since I can't share the song.

When I'm down, when I'm down now, when my heart is filled with fear and doubt, when I lift up my head, then he lifts up my heart and my troubles just all roll away.

I can't see the sun with my head to the ground, tears in my vision that weight my heart down. But I found a secret, when I kneel to pray: When I lift up my head, then he lifts up my heart and my troubles just all roll away.

Roll away Lord, Roll all away Lord
When I lift up my head, then he lifts up my heart and my troubles just all roll away.

The Church is to Edify and Encourage

2007-08-29T21:35:00.000-05:00

I've always loved going to church. My best friends have usually been fellow church goers, and I have always planned my life and activities around church. For me, church has always been my social network. These people understand me, and are my friends and confidants. I have heard a lot of people say they don't need to go to church, because they can worship God anywhere. That is true, and we should worship God everywhere and in everything we do, but worshipping God is not the only reason we should go to church. We should also go to church to be with other Christians, and it's hard to fellowship with other Christians all alone in the woods. It says in I Thessalonians 5:11, "Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, just as you also are doing." We should be uplifting each other and encouraging each other. We are also supposed to "edify" each other. Edify means to instruct or improve morally or intellectually. The old phrase, "if you can't find anything good to say, then say nothing at all." really comes to life here. It also says in I Corinthians 14:26 ". . . . When you come together, every one of you hath a psalm, hath a doctrine, hath a tongue, hath a revelation, hath an interpretation. Let all things be done for the edification." When we come to church, we should leave feeling better than we came. One of the purposes of the meeting is to build up the members, strengthen them, and teach them how to live more moral lives. Church should not be demoralizing or depressing, or supporitive of sin. God is great and if we get together and share all the great things God has done and can do, we will then be encouraged to go out tell others of His greatness.

Helping Others Helps Me

2007-08-28T22:46:00.000-05:00

I haven't forgotten about the church, but plan to revisit that topic later. I feel the need to blog another subject at the moment.

The summer before my senior year of highschool, my dad lost his job. He made us a comfortable living as manager of a cedar wood-working plant. I remember the feeling of worry that settled over our family that summer, and how I automatically knew that things were going to be different than I had originally planned. As I've learned over the years, financial difficulties can cause a marriage to break, and my parents marriage was no different. Those were some difficult years for our family, but I found a way through--it was by helping others.

That fall a lady at my church, Gwen Carpenter, began teaching a sign language class. I had always loved watching her sign, and began to learn and practice daily. I was very shy, and didn't like talking to strangers, but I decided that I would approach a deaf girl at my school. I basically had the vocabulary of a three year old with the amount of sign language I knew, but we began to be friends. By learning sign language, I met a whole other world of people and for many years they were involved in my life. It was a year or so after my life had calmed down somewhat that I realized something. Helping people had helped me. I received more blessings from helping them than they received from my helping.

In James 1:27 it says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." It also says in Matthew 25:35-36 "For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, and I was in prison and you came to visit me." I believe God placed me where I am so that I can help people, and that is the reason He placed you where you are. You have special talents that are needed for the situations you are in, and He will use you if you are available.

What Is The Church?

2007-08-25T22:15:00.000-05:00

How many times have you worried about someone who was not saved, so you invited them to church? I have come to the realization that church in the form that God created it, may not be the best place to witness to an unsaved person. I know I am going to step on some toes, and I may be way off base. After looking at the first churches, I’ve realized that a church is a group of saved people who are meeting together. Like any club or group that meets regularly, a church has purposes and goals. The purposes and goals of the first churches were: the building up and edification of the members; instructing and training their members; and sending out men to tell the world about Jesus. I plan to write the next few days on the church and its purpose in our lives.

On a personal note, I'm looking forward to church tomorrow. There are times when I feel the need to go to church simply because I need the positive and uplifting feeling that church brings. Sometimes church does not bring those and feelings, and if you are in a church that causes you to feel demoralized and gloomy on a regular basis, you should seriously pray about making a change.

Did Noah Preach?

2007-08-19T22:28:00.000-05:00

I have heard for all of my life how that Noah preached for 12o years and only his family was saved. Preachers have talked about how the door stayed open for a time giving other people a chance to come aboard. I had a blog all worked out based on this premise, and as I read the story of Noah again, I realized something. I'm not sure that Noah preached at all. He was never commanded to convert others. God told him I am making a convenant with you and your family. He doesn't mention anyone else. I am quite sure that people asked Noah what he was doing while building this monstrosity of a boat, and I'm also quite sure that Noah told them. I wonder if he said "Well, God is going to destroy everything but me, my family, and a few animals, so you better enjoy your life while you got it. I'm guessing he didn't say it quite like that, but I am in a quandry about whether or not Noah was ordered to preach and others were given the opportunity to be saved. I wish some of the biblical scholars who read my blog, if any there be, would comment and let me know your thoughts.

Giving as God Gives

2007-08-17T22:36:00.000-05:00

Giving is a great biblical principal, and giving like God requires is very difficult. I feel that I am a fairly generous person, but I usually make sure my family is taken care of before I start giving to others. I read the story in I Kings 17:7-15 where the Widow of Zarephath was gathering sticks during the drought and famine. She was planning to bake her last cake for her and her son and then they were going to wait to die. Elijah came along and said "could you get me a glass of water?" The widow immediately went to get him a drink, although there was a drought and water was probably limited. Then he stopped her and said while you’re at it, bake me some bread too. She stopped and turned and said "I only have enough for me and my son." I can feel this woman’s pain. She so wants to give to this man, but she has a son to think about, along with herself. She wasn’t looking forward to going hungry either. Elijah tells her that God has told her to make him bread and that if she does, there will be enough. She does as he says and indeed there is enough not only for that day, but also for the remaining days of the famine.

Having a daughter, I’ve tried to put myself in the widow’s position. Could I give the food I was going to give to my child to someone else? Am I willing to give to God sacrificially? I am afraid God has taught me lately that I love to give so long as I have an abundance. When my resources are limited, I’m not near as giving. I am much more frugal in my giving, when I don’t see how my own needs will be met from day to day. God instructed us in His word to pray for our daily bread. He never told us to store up enough food to last a month. I also know that God promised to supply all my needs. I just have to reconcile what I think I need with what God thinks I need.

Living Water

2007-08-14T22:53:00.000-05:00

I am very blessed to live in Hot Springs, Arkansas, where there is free spring water. I go to the Happy Hollow Spring about once a week in order to stock up on that free springwater. While there, I usually get into conversations with people about the superiority of this particular spring water. I think it is better myself, and one man swears his dog can tell the difference between the spring water and tap water and refuses to drink anything but Happy Hollow spring water. I have seen people from Texas and Louisiana there with trucks filled with jugs to stock up on water. Water is very important to our physical life, and it's no wonder that Jesus used water to paint a picture for us of what he offers. God's water is absolutely necessary for our spritual lives, and he offers living water that will fulfill our thirst forever. This means you only have to go to the spring once. There are many religions that offer water, that just doesn’t "taste" the same as that living spring water. People keep searching in other areas of life to fulfill that thirst that is not being quenched. The Samaritan woman's life was completely turned around by this living water, and I hope you have experienced the living water of Jesus.

Will You Love Him Even If. . .?

2007-08-11T00:40:00.000-05:00

Many of you may have seen the movie "Facing the Giants" which was a Christian movie that became a big hit recently. There are a few parallels in this movie–most of which are not very subtle. For instance, the movie is entitled "Facing the Giants" and the football team, which is known for being weak, has to play a team called the "Giants". These guys are big and fast and impossible to beat. Then the kick that wins them the championship game is performed by none other than "David" who is smaller than all of his teammates. Nevertheless, despite the very obvious message, it is still a good movie with a fairly interesting story line.

The message that spoke to me was more secondary; it spoke of surrender to God’s plan. When the wife of football coach Grant Taylor says "God, I will still love you" regardless of whether or not you provide what I'm asking you for. I know that this is a hard pill to swallow. I have said those words myself, and I didn’t get immediate results like she did. We sometimes have to really resign ourselves to the fact that God may have something better in store for us. I know we’ve all had those dreams and desires in our lives, and sometimes we blame God. We pray and ask Him and he keeps saying "No", or just seems to ignore our request. We sometimes feel indignant; as if all of our "good" service somehow entitles us to what we want. I have had to deal with this attitude in my daughter this week. She has begun to act as if she should get what she wants. She thinks if she whines enough, I will give in. What she hasn’t learned yet is that her whining translates to ungratefulness for what she already has, and then I don’t want to give her anything at all. So many times my parent-child relationship seems to mirror my relationship with God. Maybe, when I pout because I don’t get what I want, God feels annoyed that I am ungrateful for what I have. He may just want to be reassured that I will still love Him even if He chooses to give my dream to someone else. Loving God is akin to serving Him and sometimes when I feel like I’m not getting the blessings I think I deserve, my service slacks off. I have no scriptures for us tonight, only a prayer that we will all still love and serve God, even if. . . . .

My Plans, His Direction

2007-08-04T21:53:00.000-05:00

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

I have spent most of my life wondering what God's plan was for my life. I've prayed about it, thought about it, sang about it, and ended up frustrated by it. A friend of mine is always saying she's waiting for a neon sign telling her exactly what she needs to do next, and we've decided we are probably not going to get it. I always feel like I am somehow missing the boat; I should have done what I did not do and shouldn't have done what I did. When I read these verses in Proverbs, I realize I'm doing exactly what God wants me to do. He wants me to plan and acknowledge Him, and he will direct me as I go. I always like to look up the definitions of words to help me fully understand a concept and Webster's tells me that a plan is a "detailed proposal for doing or achieving something; an intention or decision about what one is going to do." On the other hand, direction is "a course along which someone or something moves, or which leads to a destination; a point to or from which a person or thing moves or faces; the action of directing or managing people." A plan is a intention, and direction is actually moving from point A to point B. The problem is that when my plan doesn't transport me from point A to point B, but instead it transports me to point C, I immediately think I was wrong to plan that to begin with.

Last year, I felt that God wanted me to apply to Law school. It was not something I took lightly. I prayed about it, argued with God, and finally surrendered and said "I'll do it." I went through the whole process which took lots of time and a little money, and I began to believe that it was all a possibility. When I got my rejection letter, one part of me knew it was going to happen, but the other part said "God, why did you want me to do this?" "Did I hear you wrong?" I was confused and a little angry to be quite honest. I still have no answers, but have resigned myself to the fact that God doesn't have to explain himself. He is God and he will direct me. Sometimes His direction seems confusing and I feel like I'm lost, but He says that if I trust Him he SHALL direct my paths. Many days I feel like I'm wandering in the wilderness, but I think "Canaan land is just in sight."

I've Not Forgotten

2007-07-31T22:18:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while since I've blogged, but I've been teaching Vacation Bible School. At night I have to work on the slide show, and prepare for the next day. I've been very busy at work too; therefore, I'm just rushing from one thing to the next. While I'm typing this, I am making Compact Discs of the music for all the kiddos at VBS to have on Friday. I promise to blog again this weekend and also share pictures of my class at VBS. In the meantime, if you need to read an inspirational blog, you may go to my Uncle Clayton's blog--there is a link to it on my page. He is a Southern Baptist preacher in Texarkana, and he is also more faithful at blogging than I am.

Weekend at the Beach

2007-07-25T09:08:00.000-05:00

Longing for Home

2007-07-23T21:24:00.000-05:00

Most everyone has probably been on a trip and felt that longing to go back home. This weekend we went camping on the beach–in a tent. I’ve stayed at Holly Beach, Louisiana, before in March and October, and it was very pleasant. This was my first time to experience the beach in July. In the summer, there are mosquitoes big enough to carry me off and with the 50 bites that I received–they nearly did. There is also sand everywhere (obviously, it is a beach), and when you are in a tent, you have sand in your bed. Bathing is also problem when you are camping on the beach. Needless to say, I was very ready to come home on Monday. I wanted a shower, my bed, and I did not want any more bug bites. As nice as the beach is with its endless sand, sounds of crashing waves, and beautiful sunrises, I longed for home.

When I was a kid, I remember older people speaking longingly about heaven and how they wished Jesus would come back tonight. They always ended every plan with the phrase "if the Lord doesn’t come back, this is what I will do." I never completely understood this sentiment. I always rather wanted Jesus to wait a little while, for I was quite comfortable where I was. It has only been in the past couple of years, that I’ve come to understand the feeling of longing for a home that I’ve never been to. I’ve also realized that I never longed for it before because I was too comfortable in this world. The more I’ve tried to learn about Him, the more I feel at odds with this world, and realize I am a foreigner. I believe that Jesus has work for me to do here on this earth or He wouldn’t leave me here, but I’ve come to understand that this world is not all I have. I no longer have just a knowledge of heaven, but I truly feel that I have a hope of a better day coming. I’m yearning for that day when the trials and stresses of this life will be ended, and we can all be together as one big family.

The Intensity of His Love

2007-07-20T12:49:00.000-05:00

"The Lord is compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love." I have come across this phrase multiple times while reading about God's love, so I searched the Bible concordance for it. I have come up with at least 11 instances when this particular phrase is used. I decided to look up compassion to see what the difference was between it and love. Compassion is defined as a sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. In its latin form it means "to suffer with". God loves us so much that He suffers with us. I know you have hurt for someone before, it is a pain in the heart. Today we had to give away two puppies that someone dumped in the ditch outside our house. Hannah had fallen in love with these puppies, and she so dearly wanted to keep them. As she was crying from her heartbreak this morning she said, "it hurts so bad to give away something you love." I know that God's love for us is so much more intense than that. He created us--He knit us together in our mother's womb it says in Psalms. His compassion and love cause Him to be patient and slow to anger with us, and he wants us to be reassured of His great love for us.

He Will Not Desert You

2007-07-19T21:50:00.000-05:00

"They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them." Nehemiah 9:17

I love this verse in Nehemiah which is referring to the children of Israel. They were always rebelling and turning away from God despite the mighty miracles they had seem Him perform, yet God forgave them, was compassionate, patient, and it says "you did not desert them." It almost sounds like Nehemiah feels that they should have been deserted, and human love would have given up on them. The reason God's love is so hard for us to understand is because it is unconditional. While God's blessings are conditional, His love is not. I think we sometimes confuse ourselves with God's blessings and God's love. While God may not always be at liberty to pour His blessings on us, He will always love us. It doesn't matter if we fail to do the right thing or fail to remember how he brought us through the last trial, He is always patient and loving. As much as I love my children, I cannot say that I am always abounding in patient love for them. It is so amazing that God's love is so great, so massive, that it will never run out, never end, never fail--He will never desert me!

The Love of God

2007-07-18T22:07:00.000-05:00

I attend a bible study during the school year which is called Bible Study Fellowship (BSF). It is an interdenominational bible study that I have attended for 3 ½ years. In May, we finished our study of the book of Romans. While studying Romans, I found myself in a quandry, I began to doubt God’s love. I realized that I had never doubted His love for me before, nor I had I ever been afraid of God. I had doubted that other people loved me and feared their wrath, but I had never felt that God didn’t love me and want the very best for me. While studying Romans chapter 9, the verse (15) which says "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion" kept tormenting me. It almost had a flippant sound to it– as if he would do what He pleased and was not going to listen to us peons. I understand it is God’s prerogative whom He will love, but I had always felt that God loved everyone and was not out there picking and choosing who He would love. Also, in the book of Romans, Paul is determined to make sure you understand that you are a carnal, contemptible creature who does not deserve the love of God, but lucky for you, He has offered it anyway. I decided this summer, to counteract the book of Romans, I would start looking at the love of God. I want to really see what the Bible says about the love of God, and what the characteristics of His love are. In the next few days, I hope to share with you what I am learning and have noticed about his unfailing, enduring, and abounding love.

Calm Assurance

2007-07-16T10:39:00.000-05:00

I do not think I actually know anyone who has been brave enough or crazy enough to bungee jump, but I can just imagine what it would feel like being on the other end of that piece of elastic. I know, just before I jumped, I would be shaking and have that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach that I sometimes get when I decide to ride a roller coaster or something equally inane. I would probably be breathing pretty shallow and thinking in short simple sentences like “Jesus, help me.” I will never forget going to Six Flags with Will and Andy. Will and I rode this ride that dropped us about 20 stories in two seconds. As we sat waiting to drop, Will was so scared that all he could do was pray over and over “Jesus, help me.” I think he also promised he would never do this again if He would safely remove him from the ride. I am afraid that I was not very supportive since I was laughing uproariously. I know in my life, depending on Jesus, is sometimes like bungee jumping or a thrill ride. I feel breathless and shaky with fear, but I’ve realized that I really do not have any other options. I just wish I could trust with calm assurance and faith, because I never breathe easy until the trial is past. I know he has always provided for me, but every time I stand at the precipice, about to jump, my heart feels faint and my legs feel weak.

I’ve decided that the secret to calm assurance is understanding His love for me. In Psalms 103 it speaks of His great love for us, and tells us in verse 10 that “He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” It also says in verse 5 that he “satisfies your desires with good things.” We also know that he loved us so much that he died for us, and we can also rest in the knowledge that His love does not abandon in the time of need for he said "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Deuteronomy 31:6). I would rather my life be more like the Log Flume ride which is calm, relaxing, with a little bit of excitment thrown in, but it is normally more like the Roaring Tornoado. Sometimes I just have to stop and tell myself "Jesus loves you and he has always been faithful to provide--so just breathe!"

A New Day

2007-07-13T22:08:00.000-05:00

Recently, I became familiar with the world of blogging, and I found it to be quite exciting. I can publish whatever I want on the internet for free. At first, I thought I would start debates, offer helpful hints, and share new recipes, but the blog took on a whole different slant. It was more about encouraging and edifying than anything else. I also realized that in this world of many words, His words are what we need to hear more of. We have enough helpful hints, recipes, and debates of every kind. We really need to hear His words more than our own. As much as I would like to let you know my opinions, even more, I would like to share His opinions with you. I dedicate this blog to Him and pray that I can offer you hope and blessings by using His words and not my own.