God Loves You Anyway

I attended my 20th class reunion last week, and I guess I am waxing nostalgic. I’ve been thinking about the me of twenty years ago compared to me today. Spiritually, I have grown so much, but still realize I have so much more to grow. Twenty years ago, I thought as long as the pastor and my church members didn’t know the real me or what I did, then I was safe. Today, I realize it’s only God that matters. I have heard some people say, "I am so glad they don’t know what I’m thinking." The problem is that God does, but the awesome thing is that He loves us anyway! I don’t like being reprimanded by God, but I have never felt like God didn’t love me. For many years I thought it was more about looks than about substance. In the deep corners of my heart, I realized that God wanted more of me and wanted me to be real with Him. So today, I want to ask you "Are you being real with God?" He knows you better than you know yourself, so you might as well ‘fess up and just accept that you are a dirty, rotten scoundrel. But more importantly, you need to realize that God loves you despite your imperfections. He knows you are a dirty, rotten scoundrel, but He still died to save your soul and He wants you!

Looking forward to 2010

For the past year, I failed to post much. I guess I’ve thought that if I didn’t have an earth shattering revelation to share then I wouldn’t share anything at all. At the end of every year, I always reflect back on the months previous, and give my year a grade. This year, although it has been arduous, it has been blessed and well-spent. I’ve worked hard both at home and work, and had tragedies to deal with as well.

We did vote in a pastor this year. He and his family were already members of our church--the Hamilton family. Then finally sometime around the first of July, we moved into our house. I had thought it would never happen. We did move in a half-finished house–but it has been wonderful. In amongst the work of readying our home and moving, the boys grandmother and grandfather died within seventeen days of each other. We had to make 2 trips to Texas to bury them.

I’ve decided that maybe this blog should be a journal of my life. I hate writing longhand and much prefer to type. I’ve been studying Louisa May Alcott the past couple of days (Little Women has always been my favorite), and her entire family kept journals. My husband keeps a journal, and not only does it help others to look into your life later on, it helps you remember those things that get fuzzy to yourself. So for now I must say that 2009 has served its purpose and I can’t wait to see what will happen in 2010.

When, Where, and Why of 2009

I am a planner. I like to know what's going to happen in my life tomorrow and have a clear plan for the coming week. I hate having things up in the air and no clear direction. As I enter a new year, I wonder what will happen. We have recently lost our pastor at church and so there are changes there. I am still taking allergy shots and working on developing my new "allergen" free diet. We are working on our house and I so hope to move in this year. I sit here and wonder what is going to happen this year. I wish I knew what was ahead so I could make clear plans. I wish I had a map in front of me that told me exactly what to do next.

I thought about Noah, and how God told him he was going to destroy the earth and that in order for him to be saved he had to build an Ark. He didn't tell him when he would destroy all living creatures on earth or when he needed to be finished--he just said it would happen. I wonder if Noah got to thinking that he might not get the ark built before God decided to destroy the earth, or maybe he had faith that God was waiting until he completed the task. I also thought about Abraham and how God told him to leave his country, his people and his family, and go to a land that God would show him(Genesis 12:1). He did not tell him where he was going--only to go. God also told Abraham to take Isaac to a mountain and sacrifice him. His son, his only son that he loved, and I know that Abraham must have wondered what on earth God was thinking. Why would you want me to sacrifice my heir, my promised son, the son you gave me and said would make me a great nation? Despite all these questions, Noah and Abraham did what God commanded.

As I stand at the beginning of 2009, I am listening for what God is saying to me. I know I should go where ever he leads, do whatever he wants. It doesn't matter if it makes sense, if he's told me where to go, or if he's given sufficient reasons why. I must listen for his directions and obey. One thing God is trying to teach me is to depend on others. I need to quit trying to be so self sufficient and do everything on my own. I need to ask others for help and learn that I cannot be everything to all people. I should allow others the opportunity to blessed by serving.

Glory

This is my new favorite song. It's wonderful to think that one day we will get to be in Heaven with Jesus. The other day my daughter and I were talking about Heaven and I guess I'm a good salesman, because she was ready to go. It's actually not the first time she's said that. She realizes that this world is not that comfortable, and there is a better place waiting for us.

Dealing with Difficult People

God has been dealing with me lately about my attitude towards difficult people. I have no problem being patient and nice to reasonable and rational people, but ridiculous people--that's a different story. I feel like I've been overworked lately, and so when people get difficult, it interferes with me getting things done. When I say difficult, I mean complaining, grumbling, nagging, and unhappy. My husband has this saying, "they'd gripe if you hung them with a new rope." I've also realized that for some people, I could give them a million dollars and they would whine and say "how will I spend all that money?" Then I have those people who have to call me frequently to make sure I am getting their work done. I do need a reasonable amount of reminding, but today I had a guy call me 6 times--mainly to see if I had done what he'd asked me to do. Once I was in the process and had to stop so I could talk to him. I wanted to say, "I would have had it done a long time ago if you would quit calling me." This also makes me think of how I deal with other people in the public. Maybe I call and they are just overloaded, and can't get anything done. They aren't mad at me, but the fact that time just seems to slip away as they get more behind. I have another lady, who is gruff and unhappy. She needs people to care about her, but she's a prickly porcupine so nobody really wants to be near her.

So how do I deal with difficult people in my busy world. I pray. All I know to do is pray each day, "God help me show the love of Jesus." Today, I'm not sure I passed the test, but I tried. I didn't say what I wanted to say, but I'm afraid I wasn't very happy either. I'm sure my attitude was shining through. Dealing with difficult people is not something only I deal with, almost anyone who is in a profession that deals with the public knows what I'm talking about it. Most of us don't want to admit it, but we've been one of those difficult people at one time or another. We wanted something done faster than the other person was getting it done, and we just demanded our rights.

The verse I shared in class Sunday was "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3. I must put others ahead of myself, even when I don't want to. Even when it is inconvenient. Even when it would profit me if I didn't. God's rules are not easy, and living them daily in this world is not always fun, but the rewards we reap from following His way is immense. I've been blessed, and I know if I will learn this lesson--being a positive influence on difficult people--he will bless me again. He's just that kind of God.

Jochebed: Mother of Moses

I've recently began teaching a ladies Sunday School class/Bible Study at church. Our first two lessons were on Jochebed. Jochebed is a very imposing character. She seems to make all the right choices, have a mountain of faith, and be the perfect mother.

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  Jochebed chose to obey God rather than Man. Pharoah issued the order that all baby boys 2 and under would be killed by being thrown into the Nile River. Jochebed chose to hide Moses until he was three months old and then to place him in a basket in the Nile. She put him in the Nile, but with a little protection. Which leads to a point, God will protect us, but he doesn't want us to be careless and lay in the middle of the highway or ride motorcycles without a helmet, etc. Jochebed risked her entire families life because she knew that God's law was more important than man's law.


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  Jochebed chose to "stand out" rather than "blend in". It is likely that several generations had passed since Joseph and all his brothers were alive and the Hebrews had grown to mammoth proportions. They had begun to "blend in" to the culture and society of the Egyptians. Not only was Jochebed different from the Egyptians just because of her ethnicity, she was also different than many of her Hebrew family members. She made a choice to be different and serve the one, true and living God instead of the Egyptian gods.


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  Jochebed chose to have hope rather than wallow in despair. We can see that Jochebed had hope because she was useful and effective. When we have no hope and we give in to despair, we tend to be ineffective for God and our families. If I'm bound up in worry, I am unable to concentrate and do a good job on the things I have to do. We see that Jochebed was so effective at teaching Moses about the true God that despite the many years of teaching he received from the palace, despite the temptation of power and riches, he refused to turn his back on God.


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  Jochebed had a living faith rather than a dead faith. Jochebed could tell that Moses was "no ordinary" child and that he was anointed by God for something special. The only way she could have known this was by her relationship to God. She also didn't just sit and pray that God would swoop down take care of it. She listened to God. After three months, she got a "God Idea" and decided to build a basket and place it in the Nile. Then she taught Moses everything she could with all the fervor that she could in the time that she had. Her faith was not without wisdom and was full of action.

Many times we look at women in the Bible and think, they are just filled with some special power, but they didn't have the spirit of God living in them like we do today. In the Old Testament, the comforter had not yet been sent. Jochebed lived in a country with political unrest, her family were slaves, she was ridiculed for her strong faith, and she watched as friends mourned the loss of their babies. We in America are so blessed. We have great freedoms, that we don't even exercise. We are free to worship, to teach our children whatever we want, to vote for our leaders. I sometimes wonder if a little persecution might not give us more passion. I pray that God will convict you to choose the higher calling, because we always have a choice.

Older and Wiser

Today is my birthday--I'm thirty-five years old. It doesn't seem like I'm thirty-five. I really still feel like a teenager with a lot more wisdom. According to the Oxford University Press dictionary, being wise is having or showing experience, knowledge, or good judgment. I hope that I show more knowledge, experience and good judgment than I did when I was sixteen. I know that I've learned a lot about compromise, I've learned that I don't know everything, I've learned that people are passionate about their politics, and I've learned that I only have one chance to live today, so I'd better make it count. I've learned that some things aren't worth fighting for and some things aren't worth paying for either. I've learned that God is faithful, He's just, He's amazing, and He cares about the little things in my life.

Today I'm thirty-five years old and I'm happy that God loves me. I'm thankful for everyday that I've been given, and I hope I give him my best efforts on all the days He gives me hereafter. I thank God for all the blessings of my life!