Looking forward to 2010

For the past year, I failed to post much. I guess I’ve thought that if I didn’t have an earth shattering revelation to share then I wouldn’t share anything at all. At the end of every year, I always reflect back on the months previous, and give my year a grade. This year, although it has been arduous, it has been blessed and well-spent. I’ve worked hard both at home and work, and had tragedies to deal with as well.

We did vote in a pastor this year. He and his family were already members of our church--the Hamilton family. Then finally sometime around the first of July, we moved into our house. I had thought it would never happen. We did move in a half-finished house–but it has been wonderful. In amongst the work of readying our home and moving, the boys grandmother and grandfather died within seventeen days of each other. We had to make 2 trips to Texas to bury them.

I’ve decided that maybe this blog should be a journal of my life. I hate writing longhand and much prefer to type. I’ve been studying Louisa May Alcott the past couple of days (Little Women has always been my favorite), and her entire family kept journals. My husband keeps a journal, and not only does it help others to look into your life later on, it helps you remember those things that get fuzzy to yourself. So for now I must say that 2009 has served its purpose and I can’t wait to see what will happen in 2010.

When, Where, and Why of 2009

I am a planner. I like to know what's going to happen in my life tomorrow and have a clear plan for the coming week. I hate having things up in the air and no clear direction. As I enter a new year, I wonder what will happen. We have recently lost our pastor at church and so there are changes there. I am still taking allergy shots and working on developing my new "allergen" free diet. We are working on our house and I so hope to move in this year. I sit here and wonder what is going to happen this year. I wish I knew what was ahead so I could make clear plans. I wish I had a map in front of me that told me exactly what to do next.

I thought about Noah, and how God told him he was going to destroy the earth and that in order for him to be saved he had to build an Ark. He didn't tell him when he would destroy all living creatures on earth or when he needed to be finished--he just said it would happen. I wonder if Noah got to thinking that he might not get the ark built before God decided to destroy the earth, or maybe he had faith that God was waiting until he completed the task. I also thought about Abraham and how God told him to leave his country, his people and his family, and go to a land that God would show him(Genesis 12:1). He did not tell him where he was going--only to go. God also told Abraham to take Isaac to a mountain and sacrifice him. His son, his only son that he loved, and I know that Abraham must have wondered what on earth God was thinking. Why would you want me to sacrifice my heir, my promised son, the son you gave me and said would make me a great nation? Despite all these questions, Noah and Abraham did what God commanded.

As I stand at the beginning of 2009, I am listening for what God is saying to me. I know I should go where ever he leads, do whatever he wants. It doesn't matter if it makes sense, if he's told me where to go, or if he's given sufficient reasons why. I must listen for his directions and obey. One thing God is trying to teach me is to depend on others. I need to quit trying to be so self sufficient and do everything on my own. I need to ask others for help and learn that I cannot be everything to all people. I should allow others the opportunity to blessed by serving.