Learning to Lean

The past few months I have had some health issues going on. I talked about it in a recent post, but I've not actually got it all resolved. I've been afraid that I'm possibly having allergic reactions to food--they do sometimes mimic the reactions of IBS. I have started having panic attacks when I've eaten something that I don't know what's in it. I have an appointment with an allergy doctor June 4 and hope to find some answers then. In everything I go through, I know there is something God wants me to learn or know in every situation or maybe he just wants me to understand others.

I have really gotten a better understanding of panic. I don't know that I had ever trully had a panic attack until recently. It can cause tingling, heart racing and trouble swallowing which just feeds on itself and causes more panic. I've done a lot of praying and begged for peace. In Phillipian 4:6 it says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." It is so hard to pray and then quit being anxious. I wish I could tell you I have a secret that can help you, but I struggle with it just like everyone else. The only thing I've found to help is to do something. If I'm at home and I can't call someone, I will listen to music, read the Bible, or watch a Gaither Music video. If it's during the day, I may call someone or just try helping someone out. All these things get your mind focused on something other than your worries.

I think about Abraham and how he must have felt when he was walking up the mountain with Isaac. Can you just imagine the butterflies he had in his stomach. Isaac probably could sense it too. Even though he was doing what God asked and he trusted in God, he still had to be a little anxious. We've all had those moments when we felt insecure and did not know what the future held, and couldn't quell that unsteady feeling in the pit of our stomach. Jesus knows your pain. He prayed in the garden three times that he not have to endure Calvary, but wanted to do the will of the Father above all. Jesus was fully man so he could feel pain, but he was also fully God so he knew before hand just how much pain and suffering he would endure. Yet His love for me was so great, that He was still willing to walk up Golgotha for me and for you. Are you thinking today that you couldn't possible walk that mountain Jesus has asked you to walk? Are you praying that God will not make you endure the hardships you see coming down the lane? God understands, but above all he wants you to say nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done. For he trully understands and he's teaching you how to lean on Him.