My Plans, His Direction

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

I have spent most of my life wondering what God's plan was for my life. I've prayed about it, thought about it, sang about it, and ended up frustrated by it. A friend of mine is always saying she's waiting for a neon sign telling her exactly what she needs to do next, and we've decided we are probably not going to get it. I always feel like I am somehow missing the boat; I should have done what I did not do and shouldn't have done what I did. When I read these verses in Proverbs, I realize I'm doing exactly what God wants me to do. He wants me to plan and acknowledge Him, and he will direct me as I go. I always like to look up the definitions of words to help me fully understand a concept and Webster's tells me that a plan is a "detailed proposal for doing or achieving something; an intention or decision about what one is going to do." On the other hand, direction is "a course along which someone or something moves, or which leads to a destination; a point to or from which a person or thing moves or faces; the action of directing or managing people." A plan is a intention, and direction is actually moving from point A to point B. The problem is that when my plan doesn't transport me from point A to point B, but instead it transports me to point C, I immediately think I was wrong to plan that to begin with.

Last year, I felt that God wanted me to apply to Law school. It was not something I took lightly. I prayed about it, argued with God, and finally surrendered and said "I'll do it." I went through the whole process which took lots of time and a little money, and I began to believe that it was all a possibility. When I got my rejection letter, one part of me knew it was going to happen, but the other part said "God, why did you want me to do this?" "Did I hear you wrong?" I was confused and a little angry to be quite honest. I still have no answers, but have resigned myself to the fact that God doesn't have to explain himself. He is God and he will direct me. Sometimes His direction seems confusing and I feel like I'm lost, but He says that if I trust Him he SHALL direct my paths. Many days I feel like I'm wandering in the wilderness, but I think "Canaan land is just in sight."